“Mary-Anne, do you remember the tree by the river, when we were seventeen?”
“Who is this?”
“It’s me, of course,” said the man on the telephone.
“I don’t know who you are.” I said, but didn’t hang up.
“I recall you complained about the sun in your eyes, and that the dappled mare was baring her teeth. I told you she’s only jealous, so I could see your smile.”
“How did you get this number?”
“I know you haven’t forgotten. I know you think about it often,” he said, laughing in that infectious way he had when he was alive.
***
This piece of writing was inspired by the picture prompt provided by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for the Friday Fictioneers writing group. She is also our kind host for all our stories. Each week writers from around the world attempt to write 100 words (or so) and this week I’m spot on. This week I owe a huge debt to the musician Iron and Wine and his song ‘The Tree by the River‘.
I’d love to receive comments and constructive criticism. Click here to read other people’s stories inspired by this picture or to join in.
Wonder if she recognizes him now after she gets over her fainting spell! Nice little tale at 100 words.
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LOL probably not! ^^ and i agree, yes it’s a nice tale
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That’s a fine art. Getting the twist in the tale down to the last four words. Well done Claire.
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I agree!
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Thanks Sandra and Abraham. There wasn’t anywhere else for it to go!
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Like Sandra said – I loved how the twist came right at the very end – very clever – sent shivers down my spine. Nice work 🙂
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Thanks, glad it got you.
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Wow.. I wasn’t expecting it to end like that.. Creepy.. Great job in putting it all together in 100 words.
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Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.
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Dear Claire,
This phone on my desk (the one in the picture) is getting creepier by the minute. If this disconnected thing rings I’m coming after you and Sandra!
Good job on your story. Great twist at the end.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I hope Sandra and I haven’t given you nightmares. Thanks for your comments.
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Perfect gotcha. 🙂
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Hah! Glad it worked.
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Oh Damn… you scarred the Hell out of me!
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I’m so shaken, I can’t even spell…
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Boo! Got you again…
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A very creative piece. Love it!
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Thanks Charles
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such details, I couldn’t figure out why she wouldn’t know who it was. Well no wonder she was confused. wow. good way to answer my question with your ending.
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Thanks. I’m pleased that I got you thinking and then the ending answered your questions.
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Hi Claire,
Excellent dialog and a chilling ending! Ron
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Thanks Ron, glad you enjoyed it.
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A very nice twist in the tale.
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Thanks for reading, and commenting.
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Oh spooky. It’s left me wanting to know more about who he was.
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Thanks Sarah Ann. He was her first love, I think.
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A what a twist. Who knew that an old telephone can be an object of terror. I see a great film coming from this.
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Thanks Bjorn, glad you enjoyed it.
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that was my first thought on the prompt, someone calling from the grave. but i never developed it and went a different route. but i’m glad you went this route. well done.
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Thanks Rich. It was the first idea that came to mind.
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Great story…True Love haunting or starking.
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