It was a Tuesday when Nanette decided to tackle the garden; two days after she had buried her father. She found a box of tools under the sink, the cardboard falling apart and everything inside rusted. How many years had it sat there she wondered. She drove into town and hired a petrol strimmer, gloves and hat with a visor.
She cut a swathe through from the house to the bank, where it dropped away to the sea. And there, incongruously at the end of the garden, she uncovered her mother’s car. How many years had it sat there she wondered?
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For those who don’t know how Friday Fictioneers works, this picture, this time from Roger Bultot, is our inspiration for our weekly online writing group hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Each story is only about 100 words long, so why not read a few others: click here to read some more or to join in.
And please comment below with any suggestions on mine, or just to show you’ve visited.
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For any US readers who are interested, I’ve recently been able to reveal the North American jacket for my novel, Our Endless Numbered Days, which will be released on 17th March 2015. You can see it here.
Love the artwork for your novel.
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Thanks!
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The repetition on this worked very well, and captured the reflective mood of the main character. The image of the car at the bottom of the garden was quite shocking in its own way and the distance between her and her parents comes through beautifully without any reference. I always enjoy reading your work Claire – a pair of safe hands. 🙂
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Thanks Sandra. Going to try for a bit of emotional closeness next week 😉
Claiire
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Dear Claire,
The last line took my breath away and made me go back and read again. You’ve skillfully layered the back story between the lines. Well done.
Love your book jacket. I’m looking forward to reading between the covers. 😉
shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle. Glad you liked it, and the jacket. I’m so pleased with it.
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Dear Claire, Not a close family, i assume! Good story and intertwined with lots of vines. Great job as usual! Oh yes, I love your book cover – it is so cute! Are those bugs making the shadow on her right? Nan 🙂
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Hi Nan, Yes those are tiny flies that make up the shadow figure. Well spotted! And thanks for reading my story this week.
Claire
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How many years, indeed! Nice work, Claire! As a writer, I am often interested in the right ways to break the rules. Here, you break the rule of repetition in a short piece (You know, the one that says not to repeat yourself when writing flash fiction.) to great effect. Well done.
All my best,
Marie Gail
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Oh dear. I didn’t even think of that rule. But you’re right, so few words to play with, who would want to repeat a sentence? Still, I’m glad it worked.
Claire
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I’m intrigued by this story.. the end-line changed the whole story.. but it’s like a story where i still need to find a few more dots to draw the lines.. and really those pesky little dots means that it can be so many different stories.. the detachment of Nanette is also intriguing.. she seem to have been a little bit absent in their lives for a while.
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And I can’t join those dots any more than you, because I don’t know. Maybe the mother is still in the car…!
Claire
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She’s uncovering so many things, unexpectedly, but that’ how life is once we start digging, eh?
Nice one. Randy
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Yes, perhaps she shouldn’t have even started looking. What will she find next?
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
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That car hit me good. Worked on all cylinders (no pun intended).
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Hah! Glad you liked it.
Claire
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BTW, I saw the cover. Great! makes me want to open and read it!
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Fantastic! That’s what I like to hear.
Thanks,
Claire
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I guess he didn’t like doing the lawn 8^). Nice one.
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Hah! No, I guess not!
Claire
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There is a darkness in finding that car. Why was it there? What happened to her mother? So thought-provoking in 100 words! I, too, love the book cover!
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Thanks! Glad you liked my dark little story and the book cover.
Claire
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Suddenly when the story ends you find that there is another uncovered/untold story in there. Beautifully done Claire and I love your book cover too.
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Yes, so many questions: why was the car left, where’s the mother, why was it at the end of the garden? Thanks for reading and the comment on the book cover.
Claire
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Oh! Hmmm…This has my Nancy Drew mind going nuts! Enjoyed this piece, Claire.
Ellespeth
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Thanks Ellespeth. Glad you enjoyed it.
Claire
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Claire, If the mother was still in the car, that would be a chilling mystery. I agree that the daughter seems to have been gone a while and come back for the funeral. Your cover looks great. It should draw the reader’s attention. Thanks for explaining those publishing terms. I learned something new. Well written as always. 🙂 —Susan
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Thanks Susan. Glad you liked the flash fiction, and my book cover.
Claire
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Great use of the prompt. There are so many ways to reimagine the back-story to this. Lovely.
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Can’t wait for the book to come out, Claire– your stories are always so compelling. This leaves me wondering so many things, and wanting more. Always the sign of a good story!
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