‘I used to follow her sometimes, in the early mornings,’ Gil said. ‘She never knew.’
Flora leaned forward beside his bed, waiting for her father to continue.
‘Once, I sat in the bird hide at Little Sea Pond and watched her shed her layers of clothes and emerge transformed into something ethereal, something not meant for this world. She stepped into the pond, lay back, and the water, it seemed to me, welcomed her, as if she had come home. She floated there as the sun rose – a naked Ophelia.
‘I never told her how much I loved her.’
***
Thanks to our wonderful hostess Rochelle Wisoff-Fields who has been guiding and inspiring us Friday Fictioneers for two years today. If you want to have a go at writing 100 words based on the picture above (this week supplied by The Reclining Gentleman) click here, or if you want to have a read of all the other flash fictions, click here.
This week I managed exactly 100 words, and rather than thinking about the rather chilly-looking pond above, I rather had in mind this paining by Millais.
***
My novel Our Endless Numbered Days will be published in early 2015. Click here to find out more.
Dear Claire,
Gil’s story is as ethereal as Ophelia herself. I could picture it. As a swimmer I felt the water welcoming her as well. It’s exactly how I feel when I swim. Beautifully imagined and written. I wonder what would have happened if he had told her he loved her. .
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle. These characters appear in my second novel, so I know if he had told her, things might have been very different.
Claire
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Dear Claire,
I wonder if writing Ophelia was as effortless as reading it was? It is an amazing piece of work infused with beauty, love and sadness. In addition to being a perfect evocation of the prompt, it tells me why your novel is being published soon. Get ready to sign a copy for me.
Aloha,
Doug
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Thanks Doug. I’m not sure why but this one came very easily compared to the one for your picture last week (no reflection on the pictures though).
And I’ll make sure you get a copy of my novel which is typo free because the version I submitted had plenty. 😉
Claire
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Beautiful imagery Claire and congratulations on your upcoming novel! Has it been a long journey? Publishing a novel is a life long dream of mine… one day!
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Thanks Jessie. To tell the truth it hasn’t been too long a journey, compared to some. It will be eight years from when I started writing to when my book is published, but only three from when I started writing the book. Good luck with your writing!
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Beautiful story, you describes so well the fires that keep Gil’s old bones warm.
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it.
Claire
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Truly gorgeous Claire, can’t wait to read your novel!v
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Aww, thanks. February doesn’t seem so long away any more.
Claire
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First — congratulations on your novel.. an endless effort coming to an end I assume. The story of Ophelia and the eternal love is beautiful an chilling at the same time. The fact that she’s just a memory leads me to conclude that she ended it somehow too.
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Thanks Bjorn. I don’t have a Swedish publisher for my novel yet, but you never know…
Claire
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Elegant and eloquent. Beautifully done and one of my favourite paintings.
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Thanks. One of my favourites too.
Claire
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Very nice piece. Great job!
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Thanks, glad you liked it.
Claire
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So enjoyable to come to your story and go away feeling enriched. Beautifully done, Claire. I, too, am looking forward to your novel. Hmmm, maybe I should come to England to get a signed copy. 🙂 Sounds like a great excuse at least.
janet
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It would be lovely to see you! I’m planning to come to the US next summer to do some book things, to Portland, Oregon. But the US is a big place…
Claire
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Wonderfully written. We should be braver in telling people how we feel about them. Well done!
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You’re right. We should all remember to tell the people we love that we love them.
Claire
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Poor Gil. Hopefully we can all learn from his mistakes.
(We’ve just had a run of Hamlet in our local theatre with a woman playing the prince – as a man – she was superb – the Ophelia was played as spunky albeit tragic.)
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That sounds fun. Thanks for reading.
Claire
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Sounds like he witnessed a suicide…either that or Rex is playing games with poor old Gil.
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Probably just Rex dressing up as a woman…
Claire
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A lovely gentle story, and how lucky whe was to be entrusted with her father’s confidence.
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Thanks Liz. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Claire
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the bird hide at Little Sea Pond Lovely words…
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Thanks. Glad you liked it.
Claire
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Dear Claire,
You set the bar high by titling this “Ophelia,” and the story matches the heights of the name. I felt a lingering sadness in the implication that the mother of Gil’s children wasn’t his Ophelia. So much is said by what you leave unsaid here.
All my best,
Marie Gail
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Phew! I’m glad my story lived up the name.
Claire
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Your story was so well told I felt the peacefulness flow over me as well. I am saddened about the unrequited love but sometimes somethings are best left unsaid.
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Thanks Dawn. I don’t know. I think things might have been better between them if he had said.
Claire
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What a lovely mood you’ve created in this story, Claire. It’s beautiful but sad at the same time.
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That really pleases me. Exactly what I was going for – beautiful but sad.
Claire
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A sad, wistful tale, full of longing, but not bitterness. I get the impression he was never in a position to tell her of his love. A wonderful tone. Beautiful images of her body in the water.
Marg
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Thanks Marg. I think he could have told her, but never thought it was necessary until it was too late.
Claire
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A beautiful, evocative and moving story – very atmospheric. I enjoyed the read.
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Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.
Claire
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Lovely story, quite a memory for old Gil to hold on to.
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Yes, quite a nice thing to think of on your death bed.
Claire
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Delightful, yet deliciously sad.
AnElephant reflects on life.
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Thanks AnElephant. Glad you enjoyed it.
Claire
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Hi Claire, beautiful story, lost lovers!
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Thanks Elizabeth, glad you enjoyed it.
Claire
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Claire, Lovely and well-written story as always. It sounds as though he finally had to tell this to his daughter so he could pass on in peace. Congratulations again on the publishing of your novel. I feel sure you’ll also have success with your second novel. 🙂 — Susan
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I think you’re right, about needing to tell this. And thanks for the congratulations.
Claire
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Beautiful! And congrats again on your first novel. 🙂
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Thanks Joanna, glad you enjoyed it. And thanks for the congratulations.
Claire
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Lovely images. How powerfully a title can direct our imagination into the story!
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Absolutely. Always a bit of a risk…
Claire
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a smooth piece
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Thank you. Glad you liked it.
Claire
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Lovely story, and I liked the connection you made from the photo to the classic Ophelia painting. I’m picturing the father on his death bed – although that might just be my morbidity coming through. Well done.
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I think you’re right – he’s dying. It’s quite a leap from that grey pond to the beautiful Ophelia, but hopefully I took readers with me.
Claire
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Dear Claire, How lovely your story is! Wonderful and nice to read. Ophelia was a perfect choice for this story. Nan 🙂
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Thanks Nan. I’m glad you enjoyed it. By the way, are you a Nancy or a Nanette? I have a Nan as one of the main characters in my second novel.
Claire
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When we look into our parent’s eyes, we often see someone we never knew was there. Beautifully sad story. Best wishes on your new novel!
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You’re so right. Thanks for reading and commenting, and the best wishes!
Claire
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You have captured that sad wistful longing moment so well. Just wondered with name Ophelia, if was a switch from Hamlet where it is Hamlet who causes causes all her emotional pain throughout the play,
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Yes, it’s the Ophelia from Hamlet, who drowns. I wasn’t trying to be very literary though! I just remembered the painting by Millais which I love.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
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A beautifully expressed story and, as others have said, I’m not surprised that you’re getting published, Claire. Good luck 🙂
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Thanks Sarah, I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Claire
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Poignant and lovely.
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Thanks Kate, glad you enjoyed it.
Claire
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I got a little misty-eyed reading your story, Claire. Your impassioned expressions make Gil’s memory of her come wildly alive in the imagination. It feels as though this may be the last time he will ever be able to speak about “the one that got away” (or that he let get away?); as if he were on his deathbed. The story is so beautifully written, regret becomes even more palpable at the end line. Spectacular work!
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Hi yes, I was imagining Gil was on his deathbed. Glad you got that feeling, even if it did make you misty-eyed!
Claire
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Such a beautiful piece. I can see Flora sitting by the bed listening intently and am left wondering whether or not she knew Ophelia – what is the expression on her face following her father’s words? Oh well, I’ll have to try to work that out for myself.
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There’s never enough space in Friday Fictioneers’ stories is there! I’m afraid you will have to make up the rest of the story for yourself!
Claire
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