‘There’s something in this one,’ Flora said, shaking a bottle. Green water swirled and an object clunked against the side.
‘Let’s go home,’ said Richard. ‘There’s nothing worth salvaging.’ He turned over plastic and tangled netting with the toe of his boot. ‘It’s all twenty-first century shit. How come they were so stupid, so wasteful?’
‘I can’t quite make it out.’ Flora held the bottle up to the weak sun.
‘A message to the future people?’ said Richard, sarcastically. ‘Sorry, we fucked up.’
Flora peered closer, shook the bottle again. ‘Wait,’ she said. ‘I think it’s moving.’ Slowly, she turned the lid.
***
A Friday Fictioneers story. Click here to read more and here to join in. Thanks to Sandra Crook for this week’s picture. I’d love to know what you think – so let me know in the comments.
***
For those who have been following my journey to publication you can read the third installment here.
Ha! Laughed out loud at that “Sorry we fucked up” line, clever.
🙂
Enjoyed this.
Cheers
KT
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Maybe that’s what we should be putting inside all those plastic bottles before we chuck them in rivers and the sea!
Claire
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Too good, Claire! That sure looks like a scene from the future! What WAS in the bottle, by the way? 🙂
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That’s up to the reader’s imagination. I should be asking you…
Claire
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How very unnerving. I don’t think I can allow myself to dwell on the possibilities here. 😦 Throw it back. Well done.
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Good advice – throw it back! Thanks Sandra.
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Arrghh! What was that moving? Too good a teaser.. write the whole thing down… ASAP ! 😀
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Trouble is, I’m not sure what it was!
Claire
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Dear Claire,
I’ve missed you the past couple of weeks. Hope all is well.
I can’t help but cringe and wonder what’s moving in the bottle. My guess is that it’s either some kind of disease or a cockroach. (the will survive anything.)
Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I’ve just been busy doing book things – just had a Skype call with my American editor – there will be a Goodreads give-away for the US at the beginning of January. It’s very nice to be missed!
Urgh cockroach – you might be right.
Claire
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Cockroach is an excellent guess! Congrats on your Goodreads. I just got a Kindle and am starting to make use of it. Hope to see you there.
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Dear Claire,
A prophetic revisiting of the story of Pandora’s (Bottle) Box. Very well realized. Welcome back.
Aloha,
Doug
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Thanks Doug. It’s very nice to be missed. I’ve just been busy doing publicity things for the book. Glad you liked the story.
Claire
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This is good, something that will probably happen. Nicely written.
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Thanks. Unfortunately I think it probably will.
Claire
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First the dystopia of our own destructive world is so great.. but even more the unnerving of not know what was moving.. you could say your story opens up like a can of worms (literary)
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Hah! Very good – can of worms…
Claire
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Dear Claire,
That thing moving in the bottle reminds me of the hope left in the bottom of the glass in Gerard Manly Hopkins’ classic poem or of the tiny hope in the bottom of Pandora’s box. Of course, it could be something more sinister, but that is the lovely bit about flash fiction–every reader gets to bring his or her own interpretation to it. Great story. It comes close to a plot that I think will be common this week, but the ending makes it not so common at all. Well done.
All my best,
Marie Gail
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Thanks Marie Gail, I’m glad you liked it.
Claire
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Don’t open the bottle! Sad foretelling of the future. I don’t think we’ll ever learn!
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I have no idea what’s in there, but I think you’re right – they shouldn’t open it.
Claire
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Sounds like opening trouble. Well told.
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Thanks – for reading and commenting.
Claire
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Can’t help feeling Rex is at the bottom of this mystery. I’d run if I was them!
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I think Rex might be at the bottom of the bottle…
Claire
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Hi Claire, now I’m curious, what is inside?
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But I don’t know! I was hoping you would tell me…
Claire
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Claire,
what a place to leave the story! After all, if this takes place past the 21st century, who knows what the rest of the 21st century could have concocted to be in there. Hopefully this story isn’t too prophetic. 🙂
-David
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Yep, it could be pretty bad.
Claire
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Don’t think I’d open the jar if the 21st century messed up that badly!
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Me neither! Thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
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Great cliff-hanger ending.
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Thanks Hilary.
Claire
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Enjoyed your story, Claire. You built the tension wonderfully.
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Thanks Karen. Glad you liked it.
Claire
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Nooo! You can’t leave us there! Really compelling story, Claire. You were missed; great story to make your return with. 😉
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Thanks Dawn – nice to be missed.
Claire
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Excellent!
AnElephant chuckles at the suspense.
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No, don’t laugh – run away! Run away!
Claire
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Flora! Or Pandora? I’d love to read the next paragraph or two!
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So would I!
Claire
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Dear Claire, Fantastic story! I thought you had been gone, but glad your back and wow what a story! You are such a good writer – of course. Talent is with you and your writing ability humbles me – I could never be that clever. Nan 🙂
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Only a short hiatus away from FF. Thank you for the lovely compliment, but I really think you can write – you just have to believe in yourself!
Claire
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Ooh, what could it be?!
Great story, brilliant line “Sorry, we fucked up”. Evidently these people are having to live with the mess we’re making.
Very good!
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I don’t know! I didn’t write any further! But glad you liked it, and that line – my favourite too.
Claire
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I’m intrigued. What happens next, I wonder. Way to grab my attention. I love Richard’s cynicism.
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Thanks Honie. Glad you picked up on Richard’s cynicism.
Claire
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No, no, no, don’t open it! They must not have seen any twentieth century teen horror movies 🙂
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I don’t reckon they even have electricity any more – so they don’t know they shouldn’t open it. They’ll be going in the cellar alone next…
Claire
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I MUST know what is in the bottle.. damn you cliffhanger!
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Hah! That’s exactly how I feel!
Claire
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i think i’d open the bottle with my eyes closed just in case. 🙂
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Then you might feel it before you see it. I think that might be worse…
Claire
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NOOooo… don’t open it! 🙂 Great mystery in so few words. Nice!
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Thank you, glad you liked it.
Claire
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What the heck was in the bottle?? You can’t leave a girl hanging… uh… or could you? Nicely done.
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I don’t know, but the old saw of “Curiosity killed the cat” comes to mind…
Randy
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Curiosity kills indeed! 🙂 Great thought provoking take
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Very good!!
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Great story. I love the chatty dialogue and I love the impact of the ending.
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Ooooh, I wonder what that moving thing is! Metamorphasis is what is playing in my head…
Lily
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Claire, Welcome back. I agree about not opening that bottle. I felt like shouting, “Don’t open it Flora!” Well written as always. 🙂 — Susan
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Oh no don’t open the bottle! Unless it’s a genie in which case quick open the bottle!
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That was very creepy and well done.. Congratulations on your book.. Lucy
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Very smart story! I really like where you left it. Letting the reader dangle a bit is always fun. 🙂
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