Afterwards, Dorothy would have sworn she knew something was about to happen: there was a lull, a silence as if all the molecules in the hotel bedroom shifted infinitesimally. Then came the flash, the choking dust and the noise like a star bursting from inside her head, and the floor and Alex and the walls and mirrors and everything flew apart and tumbled together.
‘Live, live, live,’ she whispered to Alex in the dark as she made her promise to God.
Alex had lived, and Dorothy kept her promise. Now she never swore and rarely spoke and her name was changed to Sister Mercy.
***
This is a Friday Fictioneers 100-word (or so) story inspired by the picture supplied by the lovely Marie Gail Stratford. Friday Fictioneers is organised and run by the wonderful Rochelle. Click here to join in, and here to read other pieces. I’d love to know what you think of mine – please leave a comment!
***
I’ve had a couple of lovely reviews in for Our Endless Numbered Days (released in UK 26th Feb, Canada 1st March, USA 17th March). The first, from The Times (“A thriller of a fairytale,” and “a triumph”) and the second from The Sunday Express (“spellingbinding scary stuff”)
Claire Fuller 
Intriguing. I’m thinking they’re both dead and have just ended up ‘in the next place’ together. Must admit I’m partial to the idea of thinking you’re alive when you’re dead. Must be a bummer when you twig it.
As an aside, all the best with your book. 26/02 is nearly upon us. At the moment I’m reading Henry VIII’s memoirs, but I’ll certainly be keen to read ‘Our Endless Numbered Days’ when it comes out. Will it be available on Kindle?
Good luck,
PaulC.
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Oh dear. I wonder if I’ve been too cryptic this week. I might have play around and see if I can make it clearer. Dorothy was meant to be promising God that if Alex lived then she would become a nun! And he does live, and her name gets changed to Sister Mercy.
Yes, Our Endless Numbered Days will be available as an ebook. Let me know if you get it and what you think.
Claire
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Dear Claire,
I enjoyed this tale. Again you’ve managed to pack a lot into just a few words.
All my best,
Marie Gail
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Thanks Marie Gail, and for the picture this week!
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I think the promises we make when somebody is close to death.. living up to them afterwards is sometimes needed.. great tale of how we can survive disaster.
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Thanks Bjorn.
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Fraught with yearning. Very nice piece.
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Thanks!
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Dorothy’s moment of premonition made me first think something was happening to her – an aneurysm or stroke, perhaps. The a-ha moment…she had done something worthy of a lifetime of atonement? Very subtly crafted. Enjoyed it greatly.
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Thank you. I wonder if promising to be a nun and then carrying it out was a little extreme…
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I think that depends on your POV. Having been raised a Catholic I would totally buy into this as something I would do (as a young woman).
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Scary stuff! and you beat me to the punch again, Clare. I’ve not even got an idea for my Friday Fiction post yet. 😦
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I’m sure it’ll come to you, it’s only just Friday. I found this photo really difficult and had to come at it from a different angle.
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Claire, this has happened inumberable times in the history of the world, although we don’t always promise to become nuns. Perfectly penned. Congrats on the great reviews. Hopefully it won’t be too long until I can judge for myself. 🙂
janet
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Thanks Janet. No, I think the nun promise was pretty extreme.
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Great story, Claire. I’m impressed she kept her promise, although that would not be an easy one to keep. It might depend on her relationship to Alex though.
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He lived but she won’t have ended up with him. Glad you liked it.
Claire
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Great take on the prompt. It does look like an explosion in progress and it’s an apt description of the moment. Congrats on the reviews – exciting times indeed.
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Thanks Sandra. I tried so hard to think of something around minerals or gems, but nothing came.
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The story is solid and well told. 🙂
So, she goes from doing good things for those close to her, to doing good deeds for strangers? I imagine the karma is equivalent, yet I am strangely underwhelmed.
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Yes, a bit on the extreme side – to become a nun. Glad you liked it.
Claire
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Dear Claire, Lovely, touching and moving story. I don’t think God would hold her to the promise if they were truly in love and meant to be together. She should talk to the head of the church. Well done on so many fronts. Excellent – just excellent! Nan 🙂
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Oh, I like that ending better. I’d rather they were together. Thanks Nan, in my head that’s what will happen now.
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Dear Claire,
This reminds me a little of The End of an Affair, a twice made movie, the last with Ralph Fiennes. However the woman in the story didn’t promise to become a nun. I had no problem understanding the story. Very well done as always.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Clever, Rochelle! That’s exactly what I was thinking of. I thought the picture looked like an explosion so I did a bit of research around that and came up With the End of the Affair. I don’t remember either film, but that was the inspiration.
Claire
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A life-changing promise for a life-saving miracle. Great story!
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Thanks, glad you liked it.
Claire
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Very much liked this take on the prompt. I think the beginning of the story is very well told and could easily be an internal episode or some sort of horrible explosion. Nicely done.
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Oh yes, I hadn’t seen it as an internal episode, but you’re right – it could be.
Claire
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This human need to make pacts with fate is always unsettling. This brought back tantalising echoes of Graham Greene’s The End of the Affair and, of course, the Faust story.
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Yes, The End of the Affair was the inspiration! I hadn’t thought of Faust – but you’re right.
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She should have just offered to just do good on Thursday and Mondays between, say, 3PM and 6PM.
Becoming a nun seems pretty extreme – and, besides, what if she can’t live up to it?
Maybe she can cut another deal. What do you say?
Randy
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I much prefer that. Or maybe 3.30pm and 5.30pm?
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There you go. Call Him. I heard he’s a pretty reasonable guy. 😉
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What a sweet, yet different, love story – but love story nonetheless.
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Thanks, glad you liked it.
Claire
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I really liked this story. The subject is so universal; I don’t believe there are many among us who, in times of great stress/trauma like the one in your story, haven’t made a promise to God or to ourselves or to whatever we hold dear that we’ll do something if our prayer is answered. I feel sorry for her, but I like that Dorothy kept her promise.
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Thank you. Yes, I think most of us would promise anything to keep a loved one alive, but not many of us would carry it through.
Claire
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Fantastic detail in just 100 words!
DJ
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Thanks!
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I thought I’m looking at an explosion the first time I’ve seen the picture. I like what you’ve done with it.
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Thank you!
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Very nicely done Claire. You describe so well the turmoil involved when ones we love are in danger and the promises we make, if only…
Well written as always.
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Thanks Dee. Glad you liked it.
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I thought the first para was about “the earth moving” (it was a hotel bedroom after all) and is followed by repentance and taking the veil. But maybe not.
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Hah! I like that version very much.
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Oh nicely done. I wonder how hard it was for her to follow through with that promise, and leave Alex (assuming he was a boyfriend). I liked it.
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I think carrying it through would have taken a certain kind of character.
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I love your description of the explosion – very effective. And that’s a great interpretation of the photo – well thought.
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Thanks Margaret. A literal interpretation just wouldn’t come to me.
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I understood the story perfectly well, Claire. Good description of the explosion. Congratulations on the wonderful reviews. Well done all round. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Thanks Suzanne. Glad you enjoyed it.
Claire
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