Cara lay on the bunk, the baby asleep beside her, his arms thrown wide as if surprised to be falling. From far below, in the ship’s hold she felt as much as heard, the melancholic bleat of a cow – the sound travelled through steel, along the gangways, up the posts of her bed and into her skull. Cara wondered if the animals ever stopped missing their calves.
She woke later, with the baby on her chest, both of them tipped against the ship’s hull, the bunk no longer horizontal. The engine wailed, gears shrieking. But no, not the engine. The cows.
*
This week I thought it might be fun to also post a recording of me reading my story. (And in the odd way that minds work, I only realised that this story bears the same name as the writer, C.E. Ayr, who gave me the idea to record it, after I’d written and titled my story.)
*
This is a Friday Fictioneers very short story inspired by the picture above (this week the image was provided by Jan Wayne Fields). Friday Fictioneers, which is hosted by the lovely Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, is a weekly group, where lots of writers from around the world write a 100-word (or so) story inspired by a picture, post them on their own websites and read each other’s. Click here to join in, or here to read some more stories.
I loved hearing you read. Your story left me hanging by my fingernails on the cliff. I fear disaster is upon Cara, the baby, and the cows.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I fear for them all too! Thanks for reading / listening
LikeLike
You have this knack of making it seem like you have forever to develop the story. It’s unhurried
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! Although I suppose I cheated a little bit in this one, in that it isn’t a complete story, but I like the idea that you can finish it any way you like…
LikeLike
Oh, you can’t leave is hanging like that! Not fair.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like it, I like it a lot!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hah! Sorry, but just think, you can make it end any way you like!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s lovely, Claire. Really. Love the audiobook.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. Glad you liked it. I’d love to know what the rest of the FF group sound like.
LikeLike
Claire, that was super! I also loved hearing what you sound like, too. I’m happy to see more of us are doing that, reading their stuff out loud.
I particularly like the tension in the story itself, very to-the-point. The sense of jeopardy is there, it works.
LikeLike
Thank you! And me too, about the reading – I’m really curious about what everyone sounds like.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great story, great reading, Claire.
I am honoured to get a mention.
And to appear, perhaps subliminally, in the title!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!
LikeLike
Very powerful vignette; I felt for your main character, the baby and not the least the poor cows.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Sandra.
LikeLike
A grim reality for some who take to the sea.
LikeLike
Yes, of course.
LikeLike
Oh this was tragic.. I can see disaster coming (or having already arrived)… I loved hearing your voice, and I also think there was a lot of your voice in the fiction too.
LikeLike
Thanks Bjorn. I think whatever comes next, it’s not going to be good.
LikeLike
What a gorgeous, evocative story, Clare. I could feel myself under the decks with her – love the image of the baby sleeping and the cows – just lovely.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much Lynn, glad you liked it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My pleasure 🙂
LikeLike
Interesting question re Calves/Cows. I’ve often wondered the same re Lambs/Sheep. I know they have lambs every year, but do they really notice when they’re taken for slaughter. Perhaps they think they’ve just gone to another field.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Although Cara wonders about this, I did a bit of research about it, and apparently cows make a very different moo when their calves are taken away, which must mean something. It might of course not mean ‘missing them’ in the way we think of missing something.
LikeLike
This leaves me wanting to know so many things! Great story. 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks Clare. That’s what a writer likes to hear!
LikeLike
Jesus, that’s creepy all right.
LikeLike
Hah! Thank you.
LikeLike
Oh! Strong & fab to have the extra dimension of hearing it… although the loudest noise was strangely the cows which speaks volumes (pardon the pun) about the strength of each word earning it’s place to create a full scene. Great job!
LikeLike
Glad the cows got to you. Thanks, Poppy
LikeLiked by 1 person
Brings to mind the sinking of the Titanic – although I don’t think there were any cows on that voyage.
LikeLike
Hah! Not that I’m aware of. Thanks, Alicia
LikeLike
Dear Claire,
I found myself reading your story from the POV of one who has spent a lot of time at sea and at first I wanted to gig you for not getting the descriptions ‘right’. Then, in thinking about it I realized, to my chagrin, that the descriptions are perfect for the tale because few passengers are going to have the experience to know what, exactly, they are hearing during their transit toward and then into, disaster. I applaud you and have chastised myself and am now left with the impressions your writing made on me. Impending doom, the love and loss felt by all creatures for their offspring and the fear that comes from knowing that the dark water is coming.
(Do cows bleat? Would ‘lowing’ be more apt for a cow missing her calf?)
Enough of my bleating. It was nice to read your work again. I hope this finds you well and prospering.
Kind regards,
Doug
LikeLike
Lovely to hear from you Doug! This is definitely Cara’s first time on a boat, but it is part of my next novel, so even if Cara doesn’t know the right words for ship parts, I would like to. (I tried to look them up – she’s on a cargo ship.) If you have the time to tell me the right terminology for the bits in the story, I’d be really grateful.
And as for bleating… I looked at so many alternative words for this. I dismissed lowing because it has biblical connotations for me. I really wanted something like ‘the cow’s noise started low and rose to a distressed high pitched bleat’ – but of course that’s far too many words. (How do you have, Doug, the uncanny knack of finding the exact thing I struggled with in a piece?).
Hope you’re well too. Claire
LikeLike
Was it the Titanic!
Very graphic!
LikeLiked by 1 person
No, as Alicia said in an earlier comment, I’m not sure there were any cows on the Titantic! But, thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think of the Titanic and the passengers down in “steerage”… Hope she and the baby can find a lifeboat.
LikeLike
I hope so too. Thanks for reading
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Claire,
I did question cows bleating. I always connect bleating with sheep. Unique little snippet and I loved listening to you read. I can’t wait to read the entire book.
Shalom,
Rochelle
PS Sent my manuscript for the third book of Havah’s trilogy in this morning. Hope my agent likes it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hurray! (For sending off your MS) Such an achievement. I’m sure she will like it. Thanks for this.
LikeLike
Regardless of the name of the sound, we can hear the cows clearly in this piece.
Tracey
LikeLike
Thanks Tracey. Although I’m not sure about bleating. There doesn’t seem to be a different single word to describe the sound.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow! What a great idea to record your story. I enjoyed your reading of it, and the story too. It gave the story another dimension. 😐
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks! Glad you liked it.
LikeLike
So good. I can see it all unfolding as she experiences all this as though half conscious – her attention shifting between her baby and the sound of the cows. You’ve put me right in the scene – and it’s scary.
LikeLike
Thanks so much Margaret
LikeLike
No! She has to be rescued with her baby.
LikeLike
Hmm, we’ll see…
LikeLike
Great story really brought to life by the reading
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Mick!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great piece, I loved hearing you read it, gave another edge to the story, fab 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks Helen. Glad you enjoyed it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good story, Claire. I enjoyed hearing you read it. I’d love to do that if I knew how. Maybe someday. To imagine what I sound like someone can imagine hearing an American Grade 1 teacher reading to her class. I put feeling into it. You have to do that with little ones to hold their attention. It works especially well with children’s books. 🙂 — Suzanne
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’d love to hear what you sound like. If you have an iphone (or equivalent) it’s very easy to record yourself, email yourself the recording, and upload it onto your website. Happy to provide more details if you want. (I’d love to hear your ‘teacher voice’!)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Claire. I appreciate your helpful instructions and offer to give further help. I’m thinking seriously of buying an iPhone soon. One of the relatives here was advising me to do so. 🙂 — Suzanne
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lovely voice, when I saw this title in my reader I thought perhaps the picture belonged to our fellow Fictioneer. It’s interesting to read that you named it subliminally.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Dawn. Yes, it’s funny how the mind works, useful for a writer
LikeLiked by 1 person
Chilling and interesting juxtaposition! I really enjoyed this and hearing you read it! You’re inspiring me to play with more tech for my blog as well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Emily. You should!
LikeLike
I enjoyed reading this, Claire. We returned back from Tasmania on the Spirit of Tasmania last weekend and had a sleeping berth. I remember sleeping with the ship’s engine’s grinding beneath me, which was kind of interesting…no cows.
xx Rowena
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Rowena.
LikeLike