I wake with my eyes still closed and hear the squeak of the treadle that you asked me to oil, the hum of the wheel under your hand. I imagine the needle, ticker, ticker, tickering, in and out of the hem; your pursed mouth and concentrated frown. I smile when you swear, almost see the pins falling from your lips, the pricked finger, and the thread snapped.
But your chair is cold when I rise, the machine still. Only the stain of faded blood on the edge of my shirt proves that once you sat and sewed.
*
This is a 100-word (or so) piece of flash fiction written as part of the Friday Fictioneers Group, hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. This week the picture is supplied by the wonderful writer Sandra Crook (go and look at her writing – it’s very good). Click here to join in and write your own story, or here to read some more.
Dear Claire,
I suspect the pricked finger has something to do with the faint bloodstain on the shirt. I love your descriptions and feel that I’m there with more story lurking just around the corner.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I think you’re right. Thanks Rochelle.
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I have a vague feeling of murder, but it could be something else…love how you left it open to reader. If it was the needle it reminds me of an odd Indonesian film I once saw. The subject was hard to understand but I think it was abuse… nevertheless I will never forget the very long extended scene where the young girl was sitting sewing her fingers together…. painful to watch.
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I wasn’t really thinking of anything sinister, just the memory of someone gone. But that film sounds very scary.
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Very touching portrait. Great description and evoked a melancholy atmosphere. Lovely.
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Thanks Iain. Glad you liked it.
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Beautifully poignant piece.
I am assuming the blood is from her pricked finger, and not as a result of him pulverising her skull with a Meissen thimble.
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You would assume right. It’s just about memory rather than murder.
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I had to do a double-take on the traces of blood, but in the end I came to the same conclusion as everyone else. But, in that case, I wondered why he (or she) was wearing the seamstress’ shirt. I really liked the nostalgic mood to it.
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I think she was sewing a shirt for him. Perhaps she was his lover or his wife. I don’t know.
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A small moment, expertly captured. Well done. You can smell the room, see the stain. Splendid.
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This brings back memories of my grandmother… great atmosphere with amazing detail. And blood stains are tough.
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Especially when you’d rather keep them in. Glad you liked it.
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I was wondering about that, thinking of bleach and cold water… you confirmed my suspicion. 😀
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I love the unknown here…left hanging… great Flash 😉
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Thanks Morgan. Glad you liked it.
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Wonderful vivid descriptions that make for a wistful melancholic tale. It feels right in the middle of ‘something’. Perhaps we will discover more one day.
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Thanks Graham. Glad you liked it. And you’re right it does sound like it’s in the middle of something, but I don’t know what.
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I got a strong sense of longing sense. Short, sweet, yet everything. 🙂
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Ahh, thanks so much Minelli
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My first thought was murder. Blood on FF usually means death…lol. However, I can see that you perhaps had other thoughts in mind. Some nice description.
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Hah! I can see that it does from some of the early comments. I honestly hadn’t been thinking of that – just a pricked finger.
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Beautiful Claire.
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Thank you!
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Beautiful piece with so much longing and memory.
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Thanks Alicia!
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Picking up dropped pins, was such a miserable task for the apprentice dressmaker. 🙂
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I loved this. It has an almost poetic lilt to it with the phrase ‘… once you sat and sewed.’ Such a heartfelt tale of loss and grief. Well done.
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Thanks Sandra. Nice to hear.
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Wonderful story, Claire. It does have a lovely rhythm to it, with the ticker,ticker tickering. And the blood on the shirt serving as a symbol of death and the ghost of the lost ‘you’. Lovely
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Thanks Lynn. All the things I was going for.
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My pleasure. And a pleasure to read 🙂
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Great atmosphere and I could sense his longing.
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Thanks Clare. Glad you liked it.
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We still have some of the doilies my mother crocheted. When I look at those I can see her sitting there with thread wove around her crochet needle hooking the loops together. I loved the feel of this sweet, nostalgic piece.
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That’s a lovely memory. Thank you.
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This was like a fuzzy blanket, it wrapped around me. I love my “soft memories” of my parents the most. I don’t know if that makes any sense but you touched a nerve with this one.
Tracey
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So pleased this touched you, Tracey.
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I think of an old couple, the one spouse passed.
A wistful tale of life.
Enjoyable read.
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Certainly could be. Thanks Dawn.
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Highly descriptive, Claire. You caught not only the person, but the atmosphere as well. Great feelings. As for the blood, I imagined it was from the pins. Glad you didn’t go dark on this one.
What???? No narration? I’m hurt! 😦
As usual, terrific job, Claire! 🙂
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Thank you! I know, I forgot about the audio and now it seems too late. Next week, I promise.
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No problem. We got a story and it was good, period. 🙂
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Beautifully composed depiction of a sad moment
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Beautifully composed piece of a very sad and emotional moment
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Thanks so much Michael
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What a nice, quiet moment of reflection about the connection between these two, reminding us that the often unnoticed acts like making or mending clothes are acts of love. Nice!
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Thanks Emily. That was the kind of thing I was hoping to capture.
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Your descriptions and phrasing are as always, so vivid and we can see the current scene and the memory perfectly clearly. Like some others i saw something sinister in the blood at first reading, but maybe that is just me as a reader, trained by fiction to interpret the mention of blood in that way?
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I think that’s trained by FF! Blood = murder. Glad you liked it.
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I assumed it was a memoir and not anything violent and saw I was right. You let us hear the sounds which is powerful. Excellent writing, Claire. —- Suzanne
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Thanks so much Suzanne
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The end was intriguing and made me want to read more.
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Thank you!
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I loved where you went with this prompt. I longed to know
more by the time I got to the end. Nice story …
Isadora 😎
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Thank you!
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