Before they caged it over, before they wired it in, I was dared by a boy in my class to throw a brick from a footbridge, on the way to school. In assembly the Headmaster’s voice was grave: a driver had been seriously injured, may not in fact live. A boy wearing our school uniform was seen. The perpetrator must step forward.
I was ready, I swear, to own up; was raising my hand when the school secretary tapped me on the shoulder and led me out to the lobby, where my red-eyed and white-faced mother waited.
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Hear me read:
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Sorry everyone that I’ve gone back to bleak. Congratulations to Rochelle for four years of hosting Friday Fictioneers. A champion facilitator! To join in with your own 100-word story inspired by the picture (this week supplied by Peter Abbey) click here, or click here to read others.
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Yesterday I heard that one of my flash fiction pieces which used a Friday Fictioneers story as its base has been long listed in the Bath Flash Fiction Award. This a rolling flash fiction competition open worldwide for stories of up to 300 words. It opens for again for entries on 1st November – perhaps some other Fictioneers would be interested in entering. More information here.
Dear Claire,
Brilliant as always, this one took my breath away. What a load of guilt this boy will have to carry.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle, and congratulations again on 4 years. So much I wouldn’t have accomplished without your weekly pictures.
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I love the originality of this and great to hear your reading of it.
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Thanks Patrick. Appreciated.
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Wow, that’s powerful. He might be responsible for his own dad’s death, then? Well, that’s the conclusion I’m jumping to. Simple yet grimly done. And so easy to be led to do something stupid when you’re so young too. Heartbreaking.
Huge congrats for the Bath Flash Fiction Award and thank you for the heads up on the next window. Very tempting. Anywhere we can read your story, or is it to be published later? Well done again 🙂
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Yes, you read that right.
And thanks. When they publish the long list they don’t identify the authors or publish the stories – I think that comes with short listing or winning. But it might appear in an anthology even if it doesn’t go any further in the competition. You should definitely try it – it’s a good one (well run).
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Thanks Claire, I’ll take a better look at it when they reopen for submissions 🙂
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Bleak but packing a punch of surprise. You never disappoint, Claire. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bad story from you
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Oh, that’s a nice thing to say. I’m sure there are some dodgy ones. In fact I’m certain.
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I’ve never spotted them. They occupy a narrow range from excellent to very good.
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Oh excellent! I had no idea where this was going. Such a terrible pay-back for a silly prank. Beautifully done, and congratulations on another success.
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Congrats on being long listed. This was another great story worthy of an award 🙂
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Thanks so much, Iain.
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Like the bottle-imp! Good work on the longlist, too!
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Thanks!
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Bravo. One of my favourite endings for many a moon. The story was simple and neat but what an end. Stunner!
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Thanks Paul. Glad you liked it.
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I agree with Paul. Stunning end beat. Congrats on your acceptance for the Bath Flash Fiction Award
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Thanks Alicia. Glad you liked it.
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Your voice makes the story even more powerful.
DJ
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Thanks Danny
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A prank gone badly wrong, great story.
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Thanks Michael
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Congratulations, from here in Bath, on the your long listing, Claire!
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Ah, yes, of course. Thanks Susan!
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I read it and shuddered.
I listened and the hairs on my arms stood up.
Superbly conceived, beautifully written, and wonderfully read.
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Ahh, thank you!
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I’m with C.E. It left me with a knot in my stomach. Powerful and well written.
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Thank you so much
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What a shocker! A truly awful result of a childish, ill-considered prank. Great writing.
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Thanks, Clare.
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Thanks Clare.
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Ye gods! He will never get over this.
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No, poor boy.
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Heartbreaking. I wonder what the guilt will do to that kid.
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Sorry! It’s not going to be good.
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Consequences, eh? They’re almost never what we think they’ll be.
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You’re right there.
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Oh my God! Sucker punch to my gut.
This actually happened (no, not a family member) a few years ago. Shocked the hell out of me that someone could do such a thing.
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I’ve heard of it happening too, well, the brick throwing bit. Sorry for the punch!
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You took my breath away. What a burden for someone to carry.
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Thanks!
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A chilling story and tragic in so many ways. A thoughtless act, a moment of foolishness, that destroys individuals and families. My heart goes out to the instigator and the perpetrator. Just children and now so damaged by consequences beyond their imagining.
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Yes. It would change a life, something like that.
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That is bleak indeed. Made me shudder
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Thanks Michael (I think)
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Heartbreaking twist, very well done 🙂
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Thanks Helen
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Brilliant as always Claire. We can hear the boy’s guilt and intended confession in his voice and then… that stunning and shocking last line.
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This one truly took my breath away. Such a burden. Just the other day, I saw some boys on an overpass, as I drove under, saw their faces… and wondered about something like this. There is a whole lot more story here, but this 100 words is deliciously good.
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Chillingly good and possible.
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Pingback: Flash Fiction: Before They Caged it Over — Claire Fuller | Arrowhead Freelance and Publishing
I think this story was incredibly powerful because the voice of the boy was so palpable. It’s a very effective piece of flash fiction, and demonstrates the power of language when crafted by the right hands 🙂 I look forward to reading more of your work!
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Thank you! So glad you enjoyed it.
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I think I’m just a bit late to comment on this.
I like how things get twisted in most of your flash fiction. Pretty good!!
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Thank you! No problem with late – always nice to get a comment, any time.
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