“How does the spider make his web?” I asked, gazing at the threads above us, silky in the afternoon sunshine; Ruben was silent, his eyes closed. I prodded him.
“Hmm?”
“The spider. How does he start?” I looked at Ruben sleeping. “Does he spit the first thread, or jump, or what?”
“Or what,” he said dreamily, still not stirring.
I ran a stalk of grass down the bridge of his nose.
“Ok!” his eyes opened. “He lets the wind take it, and wherever it lands, that’s where he makes his home.”
“Like you,” I said. But Ruben just shut his eyes.
***
This piece of writing was for the 100 word (or so) prompt for Madison Woods’ #Fridayfictioneers. I’d be very happy to receive comments and constructive criticism. Click here to read other people’s.
Nice lazy feel to this one. Makes me want to take a nap on a warm afternoon. 😉
Thanks Rochelle. Glad you enjoyed it. Sorry for the late reply – I’ve been away
Makes me wonder whether Reuben will continue to make his home there or is just passing through. As Rochelle said, your story makes me feel as though I’m lying there, relaxed, observing the web, too.
I don’t think Ruben will be there for long. Thanks for reading. Sorry for the late reply.
I suspect your heroine can spin and spin but she won’t permanently entrap this prey. Nice words.
Thanks for your comments – sorry for the late reply.
Nicely told. I think Reuben’s boots with be under someone else’s bed soon.
Hah! I think you’re right. Thanks for visiting; sorry for the late reply – I’ve been away.
I love the lazy feel and the questioning uncertainty…
Thanks for your comments.
I liked the scene you created here. It is sweet and full; like with potential stories brimming….
That’s a nice way of putting it ‘ sweet and full’. Thanks for the comment.
Wonderful mood. And interesting thought. I doubt if any of us fictioneers will create anything approaching the beauty of a spider web.
Agree – I’m not sure anything we write can compare with nature.
so tranquil and easy. I feel restful after reading this. However I do have a sense of unease over Ruben’s behaviour. I think she will be disappointed in him
I’m pleased you spotted that juxtaposition – the laid back mood, but also the unease that Ruben might not be all that she wants him to be.
There was a lovely contemplative feel to this piece, relaxing and low key. Nicely done.
Thanks Sandra. Sorry for the late response – I’ve been away.
A great story Claire.
As others have said it had a lovely, lazy, gentle flow to it. It was as if the wind were taking your words on a beautifully gentle stroll.
I really enjoyed it.
Thanks Mike. Glad you enjoyed it.
I enjoyed the pace of this one, and it painted a vivid picture. Very nice
Thanks for reading and for commenting.
well finished
Thanks Rich.
Dear Claire,
Your story spins its own web one strand, one sentence, one slow lazy thought at a time. It traps us in the end, ensnared in enjoyment. Very nice feel to it.
Aloha,
Doug
Thanks Doug. Glad you enjoyed it.