The plane is full. The fat man beside me spills over his seat into mine. I lean my forehead on the window, counting the tiny houses, a splash of blue behind each one.
“Going to England for a vacation?” The man asks.
“Going home,” I say.
“I’m going to visit with my daughter.” Something in his voice makes me turn. His hands are gripping the arm-rests, sweat beading his top lip. “Scared of flying,” he says through gritted teeth.
We hold hands for the rest of the flight, while he tells me about his daughter and I try not to think about my father in the hold.
***
This piece of writing was inspired by the picture prompt provided by Rich Voza for the Friday Fictioneers writing group. Each week writers from around the world attempt to write 100 words (or so) and this week I’m a little over.
I’d love to receive comments and constructive criticism. Click here to read other people’s stories inspired by this picture or to join in.
Oh that was lovely.
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.
I like the human companionship that this peace illustrates and I love the very sad twist at the end!
I tried to get all that without it being too mawkish. Thanks for commenting Sandra.
Very, very nice, Claire. It’s hard to believe that happens, but it does. I had a moment of “Ooo, yuck” humor with the man lopping over the arm rests. Been there and had that happen. ;-0
janet
Thanks for your comment Janet. Really pleased that you got an emotional reaction from it.
Claire
Ps – and as if by magic all references to any person who may or may not be called by a name beginning with D have been erased…
🙂
That’s great. Sometimes it’s nice when even strangers can support each other in time of need. That last line really cements the story together perfectly.
Thanks David, glad you enjoyed it.
awww it’s a wonderful story… two strangers sensing each others’ troubles and lending their comfort to each other…
Humans can be good sometimes. Thanks for commenting.
I liked this very much. I would have done the same. I would have held his hand. To take my mind off of my grief.
Thanks, I’m pleased you could identify with the narrator.
I liked this tale of two strangers briefly connecting on a flight. It was very well done 🙂
Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it.
I really enjoyed this – and there was a definite tug on the heartstrings without it being maudlin. The short time spent on a flight is a funny one – I chatted with one girl (over one very annoyed man!) for two-and-a-half hours once, on a stormy flight from Berlin to Bristol. I have to have a window seat, she had to have an aisle seat, and we were both terrified. She got me through that flight! 😀
And I loved your anecdote: having a person in between because of one you needs an aisle and the other needs the window seat. That, in itself is a great idea for a story.
Very touching!
Not too mawkish though I hope. Thanks for commenting.
Is the hold jail?
Hi Tom, the hold is the area under the plane where the baggage is stored. And since her father is down there, the implication is meant to be that he’s in a coffin and she’s bringing his body home.
ahhh got ya! Even sadder! Glad I asked. Nice job!
Lovely, Claire. The ability of narrator to set aside her grief to comfort a stranger, and not an attractive one at that, is simply beautiful.
I’m glad you picked up on that. She has an aversion to him at first because of his size, but that doesn’t matter when the two of them connect. Thanks for commenting.
Oh damn… those last few words, Claire.
Did they get to you? I hope so. But not too soppy either. Thanks Ted.
wow Claire! That rocked me. For a minute I thought she had killed him ( this is friday fictioneer land ), then realized she was bringing him to his final resting place. Funny how we find comfort in different places.
Hah! I didn’t want to spell out the coffin thing, and I didn’t have enough words to put it in anyway. Glad you liked it.
Claire
Awww.. Such a beautiful story of two strangers finding solace in each other’s company on a flight. Enjoyed reading this one.
I’m pleased you enjoyed it. And thanks for commenting Muzer
This is wonderful. I think because I for one and I’ll bet a lot more can identify with your well written piece. Nicely done!
Thanks Penny. That’s what it’s all about – finding a connection with the piece of writing (and with other human beings). Thanks for your comments.
My pleasure!
Very interesting story. For a moment … just a moment … I thought it was a mondo bizarro ending in which this sensitive,caring woman had her LIVE father traveling in the hold, but then I thought better of it. Very effective, maybe in part because it does take a second on two to get what’s happening. Good job.
Hah! Now that would be a story and a half! Glad you worked it out in the end though. I didn’t want to spell it out – I like my readers to have to work a little bit too…
Claire, this was beautiful. Like a love story of two souls comforting each other, in a time of need. I find God to be this way too.
I almost cried! I’m sure he never forgot the lady who held his hand.
Again beautiful!
Blessings,
Shenine
Thanks Shenine. I always say that I’m happy for a reader to take my story any way they want, so I’m pleased that it made you feel this way. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Dear Claire,
I applaud your subtle, yet magnificently touching ending. You morphed the annoying stranger to an endearing father figure in so few words. Beautifully done, my artist friend. Just enough accent color to make this painting sing.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks so much Rochelle. I’m pleased you picked up on the father / daughter thing going on.
Your artist friend, Claire
Dear Claire,
This was one of the best stories I’ve ever read in almost two years of Friday Fictioneers. Very well done. It unfolded naturally with perfect pace and poignance and finished perfectly with the two of them hand in hand, helping each other endure their particular burden. Stellar work.
Aloha,
Doug
Your comments mean a great deal to me Doug. I’m glad you enjoyed my story. Claire
the kindness of the girl..there is still faith for humanity..
And the man, even though he didn’t know it… Thanks for reading and commenting.
Excellent, and really surprising twist at the end there. I liked the bit about ‘splash of blue behind the houses’. That’s so evocative, just what I find myself looking at on take-off and landing. (Anywhere but England, that is) 🙂 Nice work.
No, not in England unfortunately. Pleased you enjoyed this week’s story. I’m going to go and have a read of yours now.
that was very sweet. well done. sometimes throwing some help to others works out well for both people.
Thanks Rich, glad you enjoyed it.
Very touching (and no, not in the “mawkish” vein) =]
I’m glad you felt that – it’s a fine line. Claire
It is, but you walked the line well =)
really nice human interest story. I’m glad they helped each other out.
Thanks Jackie, for reading and commenting.
Two angels meet on a plane.
Awww. Thanks for reading and commenting.
You know I continue to marvel at the arrangements that constitute a community. Strangers on a plane, people that suffer through a traumatic event like the mass shootings that rage through the US or some other event where unconnected folks are sudenly matched up for some reason. The support is doubled, even though the man has no idea why the woman beside him feels as she does.
It is amazing isn’t it? I like that she didn’t need to tell him why she needed his help too. Just holding his hand was enough. Thanks for your comments Joe.
I like it a lot, from a fat sweaty man, to friends helping each other though distress. Its such a smoth twist.
Thanks Bjorn, I’m pleased you felt that way. Claire
Unfortunately, resonates. Three long haul flights for funerals in under a year and in two cases, bizarre travelling companions.I’m glad your story is different. And it is plausible.But I’m glad I’ve nobody else to ‘dispose’ of!
Luckily for me this isn’t based on anything that’s happened. Perhaps you should write yours down, turn the memory into something else? Thanks for your comments.
Already done that.
Couldn’t figure out what the hold meant. Had to read it several times, Is she referring to the two of them “holding” each other? A little confused.
Sorry about my ambiguity. The hold is where they store the baggage in plane, and since her father is in there, the implication is that he is in a coffin, and she is bringing his body home. I hope this didn’t spoil the story for you too much.
Claire
I like this very much, Claire. You make the people quite real, and that’s not easy in so few words.
Thanks Sandra. That is always a tricky thing to do in so short a story. I’m pleased you think I got there.
Wonderful story – very touching – especially at the end. I love the way you made it feel so real, it made the vision of the father in the hold all the more powerful.
Thanks so much. I’m glad it touched you. Claire
Very touching. Nicely done.
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.
Poignant, yet precise and powerful too – good stuff!
Very poignant. To me, it illustrates how grateful you may be for an inconvenience…
I like that phrase – a grateful inconvenience. Glad you liked it. Claire
Dear Claire, Your last line brought a tear to my eye. Having faced a similar situation to your MC she can only have benefitted from being distracted by helping someone else.
I’m sorry to hear that, but I hope you found the story to be believable. Thanks for your comments.
Great pacing! I was ready to call this a good story just based on the turnaround in her attitude toward her seatmate as he became a real person to her, but the revelation in the last three words gives this encounter another layer of meaning.
Thanks, I’m pleased it worked for you. Claire
Very nice! Very well done. Even the splash of blue behind the houses.
I don’t fly, fear like the man in the next seat. I felt the sadness but didn’t understand what the hold was until I read through the comments. It is a well written and touching story.