I don’t remember the lights going out. I was three. Fifteen years of living in the dark, with only our dwindling reserves of lamp oil to illuminate the night.
“Emergencies only,” Papa always warned. I worried that I wouldn’t recognise an emergency: Ants in the honey? A full slop bucket? Losing Grandmother’s wedding ring under the bedcovers?
Papa fell from the ridge beam while fixing the roof. Coughing blood, he took to his bed on Saturday, the same day that Judith went into labour. That night, I lit two lamps; the night that baby Elinor was born and Papa died.
***
This piece of writing is part of the Friday Fictioneers writing group. Each week writers from around the world attempt to write 100 words (or so) starting with a picture, this week from Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.
I’d love to receive comments and constructive criticism. Click here to read other people’s stories inspired by this picture or to join in, with the group hosted by Rochelle Wishoff-Fields.
I liked the bit where she was worried that she wouldn’t recognise an emergency, and the examples given. I wonder how our views on emergencies would change in a post apocalyptic world. Good story. 🙂
Thanks. I guess our views on emergencies would change dramatically – we’d probably worry about things that we haven’t even thought of now.
Thanks for your comments.
Claire
What an interesting take, Claire, and I mean that in the good sense of “interesting.” I like what you saw as an emergency to a young child because those small (to us) things are things that loom large in a child’s life. I also like the cycle of life you pulled in.
janet
Thanks Janet. Glad that you enjoyed it. I’m flattered that you thought it was ‘interesting’. If you mean it made you think, that’s always a good thing.
Claire
I think you did a nice job of starting with a child who had to grow up in a big hurry
nice tight write
Thanks – she did have to grow up fast.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
That’s an excellent piece. Love it
Thanks Alastair. Glad you enjoyed it.
Claire
I nice interpretation of the oil lamps and the cycle of life. One life dies and another is born. Nice writing.
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.
Claire
There’s always at least one bit in your stories where the ‘human-ness’ of the character comes through. This week it was the line “worried I wouldn’t recognise an emergency”. Well done, a lot in one story.
Thanks Sandra. Your opinion always matters to me.
Claire
Well, here one sees the difference…..Masterful storytelling with a delicate, tragic point made, and that irony that marks this apart – the 2 lamps lit.
Ahh, those are huge compliments – thanks so much.
Claire
What a heartbreaking story. Very beautifully written
Thanks Parul. Glad that I was able to tug on your heartstrings just a little.
Claire
Oh I love this story… and the learning what a disaster really is is really sad
Thank Bjorn. You’re right – it’s a tough way to learn.
Claire
I like the way your narrator has a question about a real emergency. For those of us with everything at our fingertips the emergency may be a lesser inconvenience than portrayed in this story.
Absolutely Joe. We all take so much for granted.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
I like the two lights at the end…one for each emergency. Full circle. Crafty! Excellent.
Tom
Thanks Tom. This one seemed to come easily – it was an inspirational picture.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
Wonderful!
Glad you enjoyed it Ariadne.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
Such a nice story…unfolds a lot in a few lines….
There is some back-story there, that I might investigate further.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
I want to know why the 15 years of living in the dark. So much sadness in the last para. 2 lamps like the lighting of candles. Excellent work Claire.
I want to know too! Something bad has happened to the world, but I’m not sure exactly what.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
Dear Claire,
Bravo! You’ve masterfully told a complete story. Not a word out of place or unnecessary. Good job!
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle. Your views always mean a lot to me. And thanks for the inspirational picture.
Claire
Absolutely wonderful!
Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it.
Claire
Great story. You have me wondering about what happened in the past
I’m wondering too.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
Hi Claire
A great story, love what the child thought were emergencies
Well done
Dee
Thanks Dee. I think she’s quite a character – and one that had to grow up quickly.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
🙂
So many nuances in so few words. Beautiful writing.
Hi Claire
What a wonderful story – I love the emergencies that hold this story together, ending with the birth and the death. A brilliantly constructed tale.
Thanks El. Glad you enjoyed it.
Claire
Incredible how you bring up so much in a short short story… I wondered what happened to make the lights go out in this apocalyptic future… the birth and death happening together brought the visuals of the lamp fires back: one with the future of the baby, and the other with the memories of Papa.
Thanks – I’m really pleased that you enjoyed my story. Sometimes ‘full circle’ in a story can be cheesy, so I’m glad if you think this one didn’t go too far in that direction.
Claire
For me, this is your best story yet, Claire. I loved the uncertainty of the child and I felt the anxiety around protecting the oil reserve. The two lamps lit at the end were lovely. Great job.
Denmother
Thanks Denmother. I’m really pleased that you enjoyed it. I might take this one a bit further.
Claire
That was beautifully written, especially the two lamps: one for the birth and one for the death. I’m a sucker for post-apocalyptic stories.
Me too. The Road, and Oryx and Crake are both definitely on my top ten list of my favourite books. Can you recommend any other post-apocalyptic novels?
Claire
I like the book I Am Legend, and of course there is The Stand. Also I’d recommend books by Paolo Bacigalupi. I read Shipbreaker and really liked it.
I’ll go and have a look at those. Thanks.
a lovely story. I find it tricky to convey feelings and the situation in a 100 word story. This story is a great lesson on that ! You done a great job on this one
Thanks. I often struggle too, but for some reason this one came quite easily.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
Really vivid, I can picture it all, and your language, as usual, is word perfect.
Aww, thanks Trudy. I do really appreciate your comments.
Claire
By the way – I saw your link and clicked on it, but I couldn’t find this week’s story on your website…
Claire
Yeah, sorry about that. I tried to edit it following some feedback, but we were travelling, and the 3G was so bad it got trashed somehow. I ended up deleting it and enjoying my week away Wi-Fi free rather than fixing it! So much for a burning desire to write! I might put it up again……. if I can find a draft.
Well-written.
Thanks; glad you enjoyed it.
Claire
Very interesting well-handled story. I’d like to see the movie version!
Hah! You may have to wait some time for that!
Thanks for reading and commenting Perry.
Claire
I liked the way the things considered to be possible emergencies were so small compared to the real ones. Great story – so much said and yet so much more for the reader to imagine.
This is so damn good. Kind of reminds me of the tv show Revelation.
This was an enjoyable piece of writing.