Rex still walked the beach early each morning with Charlie, before the nudists arrived with their sun cream and sandwiches. Rex told himself it was because the dog needed walking; he didn’t acknowledge, even to himself, that it had become a morbid obsession. As soon as Rex let Charlie off the lead, the dog raced across the shingle, scattering the gulls like sheets of newsprint into the wind. Rex kicked through the debris of the night’s high tide, looking for the remnants of other people’s lives – items lost, or discarded, or like Freya’s clothes, left in a tidy pile on the sand.
***
I’m currently working on my second book, playing around with ideas and characters, and this is one proto-scene. There’s definitely a character who lives beside the sea, so this was a perfect picture for me, provided by E.A Wicklund for this week’s Friday Fictioneers writing group – where writers from all over the world write about 100 words using a photo as inspiration. Click here to read other people’s and to join in. And please comment below with any suggestions for improvement on mine.
I liked the image of birds rising like flying newsprint – very evocative. This is a good hook. Well done.
Thanks Sandra. I had to go and watch youtube videos of sea gulls to try and find inspiration.
This is a very intriguing.. and I wonder what Freya will say when she reads it 🙂 There is a lot of story in that last sentence.
Thanks Bjorn. I’m not too sure what the last sentence means. I’ll have to keep writing to find out.
Is she dead or now a nudist elsewhere? 🙂 As usual, lovely story, Claire.
janet
Hah! I hadn’t seen it like that – I was thinking dead. But that was funny!
It’s a horrible life to live with that kind of obsession. I think you have the basics for some interesting characters.
Thanks. Glad you think it has potential
Chilling ending, Claire. Great work!
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.
Like the scattered newspaper bit. Nice image.
Yes, chilling – and interesting notes. Enjoyed this.
Thanks, glad you liked it.
Dear Claire,
I love the line…”remnants of other people’s lives”…there’s a whole story right there. Nicely told. Made me want to come back for more.
shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle. It was great picture this week.
Dear Claire,
One man’s morbid obsession is another man’s yearning for lost love. I very much enjoyed your story this week. As others have mentioned, the writing is wonderful and evocative. The gulls scattering likes sheets of newsprint still lingers in my mind, as does the image of Freya’s neatly piled clothes. Very well done.
Aloha,
Doug
Thanks Doug. Glad you enjoyed it.
Claire
Fantastic details in here to hint of so much more. I wonder if Freya’s clothes in a tidy pile mean she’s a nudist, rather than being murdered as another commenter mentioned. If so, she’s a patient nudist to leave a tidy pile and not scattering her clothes like those gulls like newsprint — a wonderful comparison that fits so nicely.
I was thinking that she had either committed suicide or pretended to, but I thought the idea that she’d gone off with the nudists was funny!
You’ve got to start your new novel with that first sentence! It’s stellar!
There can’t be many books with nudist in the first line. I’ll bear that in mind!
Wonderful!Totally pulls me into the scene… I can imagine this as a very compelling opening to a novel. I immediately want to know more about Freya, and what part of this ritual has become an obsession, for Rex. There is something that gives me a chill here, making me anticipate something more sinister. Really great writing! Good luck on your 2nd novel. I too am struggling with that….
I have no idea what is happening, but maybe I do. Maybe Freya left her clothes on the beach and went for one of those midnight swims one never returns from. I loved the seagulls scattering like newspapers. You write very well. Keep it up.
I love the turns of phrase you use, “scattering the gulls like sheets of newsprint into the wind.” … “items lost, or discarded, or like Freya’s clothes, left in a tidy pile on the sand.” great use of words.
I’m going to go with Freya being a nudist and that there’s going to be a further story depicting what happens next. And I can’t wait to see the prompt for that story!
You made good use of your YouTube research, that’s a great description. It will be interesting to see whether Freya shows up, or washes up…