Dear Rex,
Yesterday the clapper broke on that old bell you bought me on our honeymoon. Perhaps the rain had rusted the chain through, or I had been too vigorous with ringing the children back from the beach for supper.
You aren’t here to fix it; you aren’t here to fix anything anymore. Today we hefted the bell into Flora’s old pram and wheeled it down to the sea, like a big brassy baby. We dug a hole, laid the bell to rest under the sand and toasted it with flat lemonade. When I went back tonight I was sure I heard it ringing.
Yours,
Roselotte
***
For those who don’t know how Friday Fictioneers works, this picture (this time supplied by David Stewart) is our inspiration for our weekly online writing group hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Click here to read other people’s amazing stories or to join in. And please comment below with any suggestions for improvement on mine.
i like the idea of a funeral for a bell… and a big brassy baby is a great way to describe it 🙂
Thanks KZ. I was a little worried about that image, since they went on to bury the bell, but I kept it in all the same.
Claire, you have such a lovely matter-of-fact way of telling stories. My first thought was that he’d left them for someone else or just for himself, but then I thought he could also be dead and she’s writing this in her diary or something. Heart-breaking either way.
janet
Aww, thanks Janet. I liked the fact that it wasn’t clear what had happened to him – he could have left, or just not be around or be dead. I do have a plan though, because these are characters from my second book, but I’m still very much working out what happens. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Pretty much what Janet said. 😉 I love your style, and I, too, wonder whether Rex left or died. Either way, the story is great, but it could be read in such different ways… sinister on the one hand, sweet on the other.
Thanks – that is what I was aiming for – ambiguity with what’s happened to Rex, and in fact the whole story.
Nicely done. I can’t help but ask for whom the bell tolls. I’m a rebel that way.
Ah well, someone had to say it…
Wondering if Rex got a funeral?
Good question!
This tugs at my heart and at the same time I’m slightly freaked out by the idea of hearing the bell after it has been sent to sea. I’ll call it hauntingly beautiful.
Thank you. It is quite a creepy idea.
Loved this bitter-sweet piece and that the bell was buried and yet she thought she heard it toll,was eerie and reminded me of a poem I taught this year,”The Inchcape rock” by Robert Southey 🙂
I didn’t know that poem, so have gone to look it up – how odd that it is the same kind of idea. A lovely poem.
Sometimes we get similar ideas and I knew you weren’t familiar with the poem-you are too original a writer to even think of copying an idea Claire:-)Yes,it is a great poem with a beautiful moral
As kz said.. just the idea of funeral for a bell is brilliant.. and I love the letter-form… and especially “You aren’t here to fix it; you aren’t here to fix anything anymore.” — tells so much more than what those words says… very effecient.
Thanks Bjorn – glad you enjoyed it. That’s what it’s all about – these 100 words – efficiency.
Lovely story, sad but calm, lovely touch burying the bell
Thanks Tam, glad you enjoyed it.
Lovely story with plentiful description. Well done though sad.
Thanks Patricia. I do seem to go for the sad stories, every time.
Dear Claire,
This is simply lovely. A soft tug at the heart. Nice one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle, for reading and commenting.
Beautiful. I think I can hear that bell ringing too!
Thanks Bryan, glad you enjoyed it.
i think he died, but i’m not so sure.
I’m happy that you think that – I’m happy for readers to think the opposite, or be a bit confused! Just as long as it gets them thinking.
Great take on this claireful…thanks again for your feedback on mine.:)
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it. Claire
There was so much pain in the words, “You aren’t here to fix it; you aren’t here to fix anything anymore.” The metaphor of burying the bell is very effective. But oh dear, she still hears it. So sad, Claire.
I didn’t mean it to come out so sad, it just did! Thanks for your comments. Claire
Lovely! And I loved the las line especially 🙂
Thanks Jan. Claire
What Janet said. 😉 I like the ambiguity you’ve offered us. Good luck with your next novel. 🙂
Thanks Joanna. It’s a slow old process.
Claire,
I like the idea of laying the bell to rest as kind of putting a conclusion to their relationship. Also, I’ll echo KZ in saying that the image of a big, brassy baby is great. 🙂
-David
Thanks David. Glad you liked it.
A unique take on the prompt, 🙂
Thanks!
Enjoyed your voice in this story. Nice job.
Thanks, pleased you liked it. Claire
Claire, I especially like the letter-writing style you use here. Interesting twist on the prompt. The frugal farmer’s granddaughter in me cringes at the waste of not fixing that bell, though. 🙂
Cheers!
Marie Gail
I know! If it were me, I’d definitely try and fix it.
So precious. lovely story. r.i.p bell 🙂
Thanks. Poor bell…
Makings of a great story!
Thanks. You may be able to read more of it, in book 2. Claire
This one is tinged with sadness and an implied death of a partner. Very effective and nicely done.
P.S My blog is being marked as Spam in WordPress, can you unblock me from your spam folder.
Thanks for your comments and for reading. I’ve unblocked all your previous comments, and said that they weren’t spam – but I haven’t approved them for posting – because I doubt you wanted the same thing four times!
Lovely little vignette. Well done.
What a great story!
Great story – someone will unearth the bell in the next century and speculation will abound about it. Good visual picture with your perfect words. Thank you so much! Nan
Today, I went to the beach with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my
4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.”
She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit
crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never
wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely off topic
but I had to tell someone!