The giant creature pulsed, once, twice, propelling itself forward through the water, blue tentacles trailing in the wake of its translucent body, like streamers wafting sadly on a filmy chandelier the morning after a party.
Flora and Richard stood naked at the edge of the sea, foam gathering around their ankles while they watched the horizon turn from a deep ultramarine to orange.
‘Ready?’ she said, nudging him.
‘Will it be cold?’
‘Bloody freezing.’
‘At least you’re honest.’
‘The only way is to do it quickly.’ She took his hand and they ran forward.
The creature turned.
***
A Lion’s Mane is one of the world’s largest jellyfish; the body can grow up to two metres wide, with metres of tentacles with powerful stings.
***
For those who don’t know how Friday Fictioneers works, this picture (this time supplied by DLovering) is our inspiration for our weekly online writing group hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Each story is only about 100 words long, so why not read a few others: click here to read some more or to join in. And please comment below with any suggestions on mine, or just to show you’ve visited.
How funny – I was reading all about Lion’s Mane Jellyfish to N last night! Can entirely see why the bunting made you think of that particular creature! And glad to see Flora developing….. 🙂
That’s such a weird coincidence. What were the chances..? Sorry, this story might pop up again at Taverners one day.
Fabulous – incredible descriptions – the streamers on the chandelier and the foam around their ankles. Wonderful stuff and a very different take on the prompt – I just hope the creature doesn’t get them!
Thanks. I hope so too. If he does I’m sure it won’t be deliberate.
Claire
Fantastic descriptions, and unique take on the prompt! Learned about another kind of jellyfish too, which is a plus. I hope those two make it out unscathed!
I’d never heard of the Lion’s Mane jellyfish — but now that you’ve described it, I can’t UNSEE it in my mind. Lovely description, and the almost anthropomorphic sentience you attribute to the creature gives this a very ominous tone. Wonderful again, Claire.
Thanks Helena. I’m not sure the creature of the deep is even in the same sea as them, but I liked playing with the threat.
Claire
Ah.. at least one more that saw tentacles… I assume that this would not end very well. The period before is always the period before the disaster that is the worst (at least I hope so).
Well that’s certainly the feeling I was hoping readers would feel. But I’m not so sure that it will end badly. Who knows which way the creature was turning.
I think the feeling itself is good.. it’s like that eerie music in a movie when the main character walks down a dark cul-de-sac…
“Whatever you do, don’t go into the basement!”
Ha.. and still they always always do that.
I love how you interpreted the image. Well done and informative!
Thanks. I knew nothing about Lion’s Mane Jellyfish before I wrote this.
Foam gathering around their ankles – a lovely line. Thanks for the gentle “horror” story. Cheers.
Thanks Alicia, glad you enjoyed it.
Claire
I love the foam at their feet and the description of it as a filmy chandelier. This is a great story that has my imagination in full gear! Great, Claire!
Thanks Amy. Glad it worked for you.
Claire
Buggers and bollocks…someone else with blue tentacles and sea creatures. Dang, ah well, great minds think alike…hopefully!
Well, that is what it looks like! Thanks for visiting, I shall go and look at yours.
Claire
A rich tale, short though it was. 🙂
Thanks. 100 words isn’t much space to get a story in, I agree.
Claire
I loved that opening paragraph. Well done.
Thanks Sandra, for visiting and commenting.
Claire
Claire, once more you’ve created a small, understated gem with beautiful description, tension and the opportunity for us to choose.
janet
So which way are you going to go, Janet??
As you set up, I went first toward assuming it was coming after them. But as you say, it would go either way or many ways. If the water’s cold enough, they might not still be there if and when it arrives. 🙂
Hah! I reckon you’re right. They got up to just above the knees and then ran out again!
If he got in waist-high, I’m sure he left quickly. 🙂
I was hooked from the first line and terrified too!Loved the horror of it all and how you brought in the two unsuspecting souls into it all-awesome Claire:-)
Thank you. Lovely to know my story stirred the emotions!
It did and how!:-)
“The creature turned.” This is exactly why I get in the water last. I always know something that I can’t see is looking at me from underwater :p
Yikes! What a way to go! The fact that you tied in something real is kinda creeping me out right now. I’ll be staying out of the water for awhile!
Good tension of the “Jaws” type and that was a scary movie. That’s one of the reasons I haven’t been in the ocean for years. Good description that places the reader at the scene. I also hope they’re not attacked. Well done. 🙂
Claire, there’s an expectation in stories that when you start out with happy people, bad things happen to them. I’m hoping this isn’t the case for Flora and Richard but I have a sinking feeling.
Dear Claire,
You never disappoint. Sharp description of the jellyfish. I could feel the ice cold water around my ankles and found myself wanting to dive in head first.
Shalom,
Rochelle
A descriptive start and a threat in the water but in the end leaves the question hanging about what will happen next. Over to the reader then.
Beautifully descriptive writing!
i hope they enjoy what may be their last ever swim. from the oceans we came, and to them we return. well done.
Claire, the tension and description here is spot on! It doesn’t read like gratuitous horror; rather, the tension mounts perfectly. Bravo!
hopefully, they scared the creature rather than the other way around.
Clever interpretation of the pic. Will they survive. It seems they aren’t aware of the creature’s presence?
I enjoyed both your take on the prompt and your story this week. Nicely woven.
Marie Gail
You created such imagery and tension here Claire, I was willing them to stay on the shore.
Dee
Great tension – cold is the least of their worries!
Two meters – that’s huge but I never heard of this kind of jellyfish. I was hoping the monster jellyfish wouldn’t see them enter the water – but alas, they did. Good writing as usual! Nan 🙂