I thought he was a reporter or an evangelist when I saw him through the front door glass. He was holding a book; clinging to it as if it was the thing that kept him from running away.
I put the chain on. ‘Hello?’ I said.
He was about my age, twenty-two, familiar yet unknown. ‘Is my father in?’ he said.
I was confused. ‘I’m sorry, you must have the wrong house,’ I said. He held the book up, my husband’s book, the one that made him famous.
‘Gil Coleman,’ the man said and he tapped the cover with a forefinger. ‘My father.’
***
This 103-word piece of flash fiction is inspired by the picture above. It’s rather a leap this week, but the idea that we don’t know what’s on that stick, led me to thinking about other things that are unknown, which led me to my story. Friday Fictioneers is an online writing group where we all write 100 words or so from a picture supplied to us weekly by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (and this week provided by Kent Bonham). You can join in here, or read other people’s stories here.
***
In other news, I’ve written a blog post about how I got an agent, which you might be interested to read. And my novel, Our Endless Numbered Days, is now available to pre-order from Amazon in the UK and US, and of course from your local independent bookshop (hopefully).
Dear Claire,
No disappointment here. Unknown is a perfect example of ‘seeing’ S opposed to ‘looking at.’
It seems that Daddy has some explaining to do. Well imagined and well written as always.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle. Yes, much explaining.
Claire
And a whole realm of possibilities open up here. Great take on the prompt, whatever it is.
Thanks Sandra. It’s already expanding into a scene for book two.
Claire
You did a good thing, Claire. Wrought a story out of something indescribable. Worked great!
Thanks Kent. And thanks for the weird picture. In the end, very inspirational!
Claire
It’s always exciting when our imagination takes over. You did so great with this take on the prompt, I forgot about the photo while I was reading it. This is very creatively crafted story.
Thank you. Glad you liked it.
Claire
This prompt is wide open to interpretation! I like yours–the unknown –and the direction you took with that.
A bit tenuous to the picture, but still got a story out of it.
Claire
Brilliant, Claire! That first paragraph grabbed me and I was totally pulled into this story… it’s a full story, in and of itself, but oh how I want more! Love this.
Thanks! I’m working on it!
Claire
I love where you went with this!
Thanks, glad you liked it.
Claire
Lovely, Claire
Thanks!
Claire
Gil! A poor man’s Rex. I’m heartbroken.
RIP Rex. Long live Gil!
Claire
Daddy as Dada. A feathered lollipop, boy meets dad. Well done.
Thanks, glad you liked it.
Claire
perhaps i’m not reading it right, but could it be your father’s book that he was holding? after all, he was about your age of twenty-two.
No, it’s the narrator’s husband’s book. The husband is much older than the narrator, and it turns out he already has a child who is his wife’s age.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
Interesting take on the prompt. Amazing where the imagination can go sometimes. Good story.
Thanks, glad you liked it.
Claire
Really stick! This father had more than one family, I only imagine how many kids will show up.
Ah yes, I hadn’t thought of that. There may be more where this one came from!
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
Dear Claire,
There is perhaps a divorce in the future for the famous Mr. Coleman. I really enjoyed this tale as I expect to enjoy your blog about how you found an agent. Your writing is how you found an agent. Well done.
Aloha,
Doug
Thanks Doug. We could give Mr Coleman the benefit of the doubt; it’s possible he didn’t know he had a son. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
Oh dear. Truth time. You’ve got so much into this. Very enjoyable.
Marg
Thanks. Really glad you enjoyed it.
Claire
Love your explanation of teh walk from the prompt to your story.
even without it, your story stands quite nicely on its own.
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.
Claire
Ah.. the backside of marrying an older man.. a son that are a brother or? very clever connection to the picture.
A very tenuous connection to the picture – but one most people seem to have let me get away with.
Claire
Wow, that’s quite a surprise for her. I like “familiar yet unknown”, as your protagonist (maybe subconsciously) sees the resemblance to her husband in this stranger (understandably as it turns out).
Yes, that was my intention. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
Loved the take on prompt not being sure what’s on the stick! and very well written. Don’t see any good coming to the father or his families if he is the father that is.
I think you’re right – it’s going to take some working out.
Thanks for reading.
Claire
Superbly crafted and very cleverly done.
AnElephant is intrigued.
Thanks – glad you liked it!
Claire
Nice take on the prompt – I like the broader view, the leap it takes to get there.
I also like the fact that there is definitely more to this story.
Thanks. There certainly is.
Claire
Great story here. Something to build on. I like the way you built up to it, with that little teaser in the third para. Considerable age gap between husband and wife. I had to reread; at first I thought he was a sibling?
Yes, the husband is much older than his wife. Glad it worked for you.
Claire
What a brilliant piece!
“I put the chain on.” was my favourite line. Tells us so much in so few words.
I hadn’t thought of that. Does say something about her character I think.
Thanks,
Claire
wow! reading all these posts I wonder, “why did I write my post before reading the rest” 🙂
beautiful take “on the stick”
I think it’s best to write your own before reading others, otherwise I find I’m too easily influenced. Thanks for reading mine.
Claire
Uh oh! I don’t think Daddy is going to be happy when he comes home. Nicely done. That ‘put the chain on’ is such a lovely touch!
Thanks for reading. Glad you liked it.
Claire
Great take, Claire. What a surprise for the wife. I like your clue of the stranger being familiar but unknown. Her life is now forever changed. Congrats on your book! I’m so excited for you!
Thanks Amy. Glad you liked this story. And yes, I’m very excited about Our Endless Numbered Days too. It feels like the count-down to publication has really started now.
Claire
Wow Claire – this is great! Her husband had better come up with a good story – but if the visitor at the door was the same age as the wife, Gill hadn’t committed adultery – so this leaves an early indiscretion. Very possible. At any rate, this is excellent! Thanks! Nan 🙂
Yes, quite possible he didn’t even know he had a son.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
Excellent venture into the unknown, Claire. I enjoyed the read.
All my best,
Marie Gail
Thanks. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Claire
Lovely nugget of story. i particularly like the cautious door opening and the presumption of a totally unrelated problem.
Beautifully connected. I loved how you took the underlying fact in the picture and wove the story around it. Great!