‘Perhaps put some coffee on,’ the estate agent said, striding from the kitchen to the dining room. I tagged along behind. ‘Courtyard could be brightened up. And maybe lay the table.’ I must have looked bewildered. ‘It all helps. Viewers need to see it as a home, not just a house.’
It is home, I wanted to tell him. Was a home…briefly.
That night I fell asleep on the sofa surrounded by wrapping paper and boxes, but I had found the percolator and the dinner service. In the morning I put the rest of the wedding presents back under the stairs.
***
A Friday Fictioneers 100-word (or so) story inspired by the picture supplied by Jan Wayne Fields. Friday Fictioneers is organised and run by the wonderful Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Click here to join in, and here to read other pieces.
***
This week I was delighted to be included in The Observer’s ‘New Faces of Fiction’ article. You can see it online here.
And for the next 15 hours only you can win one of five copies of Our Endless Numbered Days, via Goodreads. (UK readers only I’m afraid.)
Nice. Love the ambiguity as to what happened.
Thanks, and for your tweet. Much appreciated.
Claire
Congratulations on the article.
Thank you!
Amazing what you can do with just a few sentences — an entire tale here, so complete in my mind. Very well written.
Maybe it’s how amazing your mind is – to be able to fill in the gaps! Thanks.
Claire
Nice sting with the last sentence. Good piece of descriptive writing. Mind you I’d expect nothing less from a ‘Pro’ 🙂
Hah! Thanks Paul.
Claire
Claire, another lovely bit of concise fiction that hits me straight in the heart without being overblown. I’m off to check out your link and was crushed when I read that the possible free books was in the UK only. Sigh. 🙂
janet
Super article, Claire. You’re in some pretty high company there, but I have no doubt you and your book will do splendidly!
janet
Thanks Janet for the comment on the writing and on the article. Yes, sorry about the giveaway being UK only – it’s nothing to do with me.
Claire
Sad story here. Well penned.
Thanks Patrick.
I’ve taken a punt on the free book and read the article. Congratulations on getting married.
Good luck! Let me know if you win one.
I read this twice just to soak in all the agonizingly lovely yet heartbreaking details. You tell so much here, Claire, but leave even more clues in the things that have been left unsaid. Finely crafted.
All my best,
Marie Gail
Ahh, thanks Marie Gail. Really pleased you like it.
Claire
Oooh, I love the mixture of practicality and despair you’ve mixed into this – and I like the mystery of not knowing quite what happened. Fantastic! So glad I found you this week (I missed you last week – were you there?)
Thanks. I was in last week, but there are so many entries, it is hard to find everyone.
Claire
Sounds like the marriage was over before it even started. Very sad.
Yes, I think you’re right. Thanks for reading.
Claire
Of course… it makes me wonder if she died or if she left him… since I get to make up my own ending for it, I think she died.
surrounded by wrapping paper and boxes This line makes the story seem so festive against the dark background of WHAT HAPPENED? Well done and one more congrats….
Oh yes, I didn’t see that – but the juxtaposition works. Thanks!
Claire
it was a home, she said. at least, it wasn’t a total loss. it meant something however briefly.
You’re right. You should always look for the positive side.
Very sad, I love the hints to a tragic backstory. I get the impression from your words that your narrator is living in a shocked daze after what has happened.
Yes, I think he did, and there is certainly backstory, I just don’t know what it is!
I’m so very pleased for your success Clare – well done. Loved the article. And a very haunting tale this week of a life that didn’t quite go where it was supposed to go. Beautifully done.
Thanks Sandra, for the congratulations and for your comments on my story.
Claire
Dear Claire,
You’re one of my heroes in this band of intrepid writers. Congratulations on another publication.
The last line spoke volumes. Beautiful writing that left me with an ache.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Ahh, what a lovely thing to say. Thank you Rochelle. I love Friday Fictioneers!
Oh how sad , Clare. Well written
Thanks Liz. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Claire
Such a sad, multilayered story. You said it all without saying much. Loved it. And loved the article, congrats!
Thank you! And thank you for the congratulations.
The narrator hides grief behind unbending practicality. Well-executed dialogue and action show it all, even what’s not seen.
Thank you! It’s good to leave a little in there for readers’ to work out.
Lovely narration. I could feel the blue behind his words. This is a heartbreaking piece, but it is as gold as the sun. Thank you! — Matthew
Aw, we were thinking alike this week!
I loved your piece this week, but although mine could be that someone has died, it could also be that the marriage hasn’t worked out…
Oh I love it! You’re so good at those little twists at the end that explain so much. I’m hoping that with practice I can do that. 🙂
Your writing is very lovely! Thanks for your kind comments.
Claire
Ouch. Sombre, depressing… excellent.
Cheers
KT
That’s what the picture suggested this week, don’t you think?
Hi Claire – oh yes, it’s certainly where I went!
I loved it – you captured a whole life in just a few sentences. It also gave me the idea to try this out with my students! Should be fun!
Oh good luck! Let me know how you get on.
Such a sad story. He’s so lonely – I can feel his sorrow. I ike the estate agent’s brisk, uncaring voice – it’s a good foil for the vulnerability of the MC. Congratulatios on the article.
Thanks – you’re right I think – the contrast works. Thanks for the congratulations.
Great tale full of ache and tears. A closure and an uncertain beginning… so much said with very little. Good job.
Thank you!
This is how a perfect 100 word story should be told.. leaving all that room for an interpretation… so strikingly good Claire.. and I might have to order the book later on.. you are on a roll, what a great article..
I love the way you give the reader plenty of space to fill in the story.
It’s a bit like drawing – you don’t want to complete every line. Thanks Hilary.
Very nice. I can feel the emptiness.
Me too.
Thank you. Whatever happened, it wasn’t wasn’t good.
It appears he lost more han we can imagine.
And congrats on both the February book and New Faces of Fiction publications.
Thanks Adam. It all seems suddenly very close!
A great story with a very poignant ending. The sadness and emptiness that ooze from it contrasts well with the vitality of the estate agent. Beautifully written, Claire.
Thank you! Really pleased you enjoyed it.
Claire
Another gem from you. Wonderfully written. so much to draw inferences from.
Ahh, thank you!
Claire
You captured the sadness beautifully and gave us enough to complete the back story. A life suspended as it were.
Congratulations too, I think you already know that I am a huge fan.
Dee
🙂
Thanks, Dee. I really appreciate it.
Claire
I followed the link. That was a great article, Claire. Congratulations! Good story and very realistic. Well done as always. 🙂 — Suzanne
Thanks Suzanne. Glad you liked my story, and thanks for reading the article.
Claire
Wow, that was such a teaser!! And typically I am so late for the giveaway lol.