Keith drilled the hole in the ceiling when the pretty girl in the downstairs flat was out. Or at least he hadn’t heard her for hours, maybe days come to think of it. He was sure she wouldn’t notice the small mound of sawdust in her bathroom because even though she had kept the door-chain on when he had introduced himself, over her shoulder he had seen how messy her flat was.
Keith pressed his eye to the hole. The girl lay in her bath, smiling, looking up at him. He drew back, shocked, excited. When he looked again she hadn’t moved.
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This is a Friday Fictioneers story. 100 (or so) writers writing 100-words (or so) inspired by the picture above (supplied this week by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.
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Our Endless Numbered Days has been nominated for the Edinburgh First Book Award. This is a prize decided by public vote, so if you’d like to vote for my novel, click here – I’d really appreciate it. (Scroll to the bottom of the page, and I’m on the penultimate line.)
Dear Claire,
I wonder what she was doing at the time of her demise to go with a smile on her face. Well written as always.
Shalom,
Rochelle
A lot of that going on right now. iPhones under bathroom stalls, etc. Will he call the police?
DJ
I don’t know. Maybe I’ll find out next week!
Dear Claire ….the opening sentence sparked my attention immediately, a beautifully written first paragraph …love and blessings , megxxx
Thanks Meg, pleased you enjoyed it.
Oh! You had me with that first line, and left me burning for more. Well done!
Thanks – so glad you enjoyed it.
Leaves me wanting to read more, Claire. Thanks!!
What an unwelcome surprise!
No, not a nice thing to find, even if you’re a peeping tom
Wow, I’d love to know how this continues
Thanks. So would I!
I hope he’s not into necrophilia.
Good piece Claire.
Ugh – I hadn’t thought of that…
Now he has a lot to explain to the police. Nicely done.
He does. I wonder if he will even call them.
So he let himself in and drilled a hole in her ceiling. Keith sounds charming, how long before the..umm..fragrance starts wafting info his apartment? That will kill all thoughts of romance.
Well, he drills down through his floor. But same thing. Yes, the smell might become a problem.
Perfect fast-acting karma for Keith, I think. Well done. My take from the read is, she’s dead… was this your intent?
Yes, he deserves the shock. And yes, you’re right, she’s dead.
Dirty boy! (As Harry Hill would say 🙂 ) I’m wondering how she died, with a smile on her face. And I’m wondering how he’s going to report this to the police…
Yes, I’m not sure of either of those questions…
Unfortunate way to become a witness, or the one to find her. Wonder if he can plug the hole before thinking further 🙂
Sleazy fellow now in a lot of unnecessary trouble.
A different take, thank the lord.
darn, he longed for intimacy and was dashed again. how unlucky could one get.
I am impressed with your site, Claire, the content which reveals your talent and the elegant theme. Thanks a lot.
You know how to grip a reader and never let her go!
But, and this says more about me than you, I thought that she was alive in the tub and just being naughty! (Blushing)
If I were him, I’d be moving, now! The police aren’t going to miss the sawdust on the floor. Although, he could break in and clean it up, and then repair the hole, maybe they wouldn’t notice – if it were suicide – if! Ha, a great story here!
I love the fact that my story has made your mind race ahead! Thanks for reading and commenting.
Clever story, nice twist there at the end.
KT
Thanks, a surprise for him too!
Suspenseful – had me hooked!
Lily
Great, thank Lily!
Chilling story, Claire, which clearly you do so well!
Giant Mazel on the nomination. I’m not at all surprised as I suspect your book will continue to climb! I have already imagined the actors, for the movie! 😉 (seriously)
PS) I voted for OEND and then passed the link on to the book group! I know that many of them voted for you in the last competition. Good luck! It’s a fabulous book and deserves to win. xox
That’s so kind. Thank you so much. x
Thanks so much Dawn. You’re going to have to email me a list now! 🙂
Well, this is an interesting way to get acquainted. Nice twist at the end! I didn’t realize she was dead, but oh now he’s in trouble. Great story.
He certainly is! Thanks for reading.
Somehow I saw this coming. Too bad that he didn’t drill a bit earlier, creep that he is. Sad story, great take on the prompt.
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.
Uh oh…
Yes, it can only get worse (for him)
he sawed a hole for himself, hard luck
Hah! Thanks for reading.
I guess that she will not move any longer.. what a creep Keith is, but I guess he will be nailed and suspected for that hole when the police comes.
As long as they spot it… thanks for reading Bjorn.
“Or at least he hadn’t heard her for hours, maybe days come to think of it.” Wonderful teaser. I though umm where is this going.
Enjoyed the story.
Glad that worked for you! Thanks for reading.
Oooh . . . good and creepy. You make heavy use of foreshadowing this week, but it seems to work. Nicely handled.
All my best,
MG
I had to get a little in there, even if it is only 100 words!
I didn’t expect that. Great ending. I wonder what put the smile on her face.
Yes, I’m not sure either.
Chilling! I voted for you.
Thanks so much Hilary
Loved it
Thanks!
Beautifully executed. And congratulation on your debut book award!
I think my story last week (BE MINE) might be the conclusion to yours here. Funny how some stories connect even when writers are unaware of what others are writing.
Thanks. I’ll go and take a look at yours