Marek holds a map. He can’t read the street names, nor the English instructions on the cans of spray-paint the supervisor gave him. The man was impatient, talked too close and too loudly for Marek to follow.
On a bridge he sprays a white circle around a crater in the pavement. When he stands up a figure is climbing over the railing in the dark.
‘Nie,’ Marek calls, runs. ‘Proszę.’
The person, a woman, turns, looks at him.
‘What?’ she says.
‘Wróć.’ He holds out a hand. ‘Pozwól mi pomóc.’
‘Posvolly… what?’ she says again.
Hesitantly, Marek says, ‘I help.’
***
This is a 100-word story for the Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Click here to read some more inspired by the picture (this week provided by The Reclining Gentleman) or here to join in and write your own.
I don’t speak Polish – so if any fluent speakers read this and want to let me know if I’ve made any mistakes, I’d love to hear from you, and of course, all other non-Polish speaking readers.
If you’re so inclined it would be lovely if you would vote for my novel, Our Endless Numbered Days in the Edinburgh First novel award, and you’ll have a chance of winning a copy of all 56 novels nominated. (Scroll to the bottom of the page.)
I don’t speak Polish, and my internet connection is so morbidly slow that I can’t translate this. But I guess the offer of help might need no translation anyway. Nicely done
It is a basic response to what he sees. Hopefully no translation needed.
Ah, I’ve heard good things about your novel, I didn’t make the connection that it was you who wrote it! I always love your entries on here, so I will 100% put it on my to buy list!
Oh, thank you! Let me know if you read it.
Sometimes so little is required to help someone in need… and what luck that they both speak Polish. I think this could be a beginning rather than an end. This week there is a bookfair in Sweden… but I guess we will have to wait for you until it’s been translated 🙂
Ah, they don’t both speak Polish, she doesn’t understand what he’s saying, but gets the sentiment of course. I’d better tweak it!
Oh.. sorry I did not get that.. just a friendly voice can suffice.. 🙂
I am fond of untranslated dialog. The first writer I saw do it was Cormac McCarthy (aside from quotations, etc.). I’ve utilized that myself, although friends have told me that Google Translate is not the most reliable thing going. Great story.
As long as the reader can guess what’s being said, I like it as a device for focusing on the action. And I got my Polish from Google translate – so there probably are some errors.
It’s good to help in any language.
Good piece.
Thanks Mick.
Dear Claire,
The ending line was just enough to take me back into the rest of the story. Well constructed, well written as always.
Shalom,
Rochelle
So glad it worked for you, Rochelle.
I am not fluent in Polish, but I know a bit of Czech. It sounded crystal clear to me, I liked how the dialog played out. The foreign language adds so much power to your story.
Thank you! So glad you liked it.
That’s lovely. A stranger confused by the foreignness of the place nonetheless shows great humanity. And what a wonderful pair of words he knows.
I’d like to think that we’d all respond the same way as Marek no matter what language we speak.
Lovely story!
Thank you!
The untranslation works–I don’t want to know exactly what he said, but get the sense, just as she does. Beautifully done!
Thanks. So glad you liked it.
A great piece of writing, Claire, with total clarity provided by my understanding exactly the same as the woman, not a word.
This works superbly well.
Exactly – she doesn’t understand him, except by his actions, so why should we?
I have to agree about no translation being necessary. Whenever they use this technique in a movie my wife wants to know what was said, as if I speak german or japanese, or whatever. I love the technique when done right. You have done it excellently. (Is that a word? Don’t bother translating!) 🙂
Thanks, Emilio. It was fun to do. And hopefully I got the Polish right.
It worked for me – very well done!
Thanks, Susan.
A part of me likes that I can’t understand a thing he’s saying, letting us try to figure it out too!
Hopefully you can guess! Thanks, Dale.
I think it is great that you took a risk with writing in Polish. He did not understand his boss because he is a Polish immigrant but he understands how to be a human being and offer help to someone in trouble.
Thanks Deborah. I was hoping that his meaning would come through in his actions.
It definitely did. 🙂
I love the contrast between the insignificance of the instructions he doesn’t understand, and the enormous impact of his words at the end. Wonderful.
Yes, it didn’t matter that he couldn’t read them – not required.
Perhaps the beginning of a love story? Nicely done.
It could be couldn’t it? Thanks, Liz
Kindness needs no language and is not restricted by it as you so beautifully portrayed in your powerful story.
Thank you. What nice things to say.
Certain things transcend language, don’t they? Great story!
You’re absolutely right. Thanks!
This is very good, no translation needed. Passionate words are understood, no matter which language.
Thanks for your kind words.
Offering help extends beyond the language barriers. Everyone needs each other. I love the, “I help.” Nicely done, Claire.
Thanks Amy, glad you liked it.
Well done tale. Yes I think his offer crossed the language divide. At least it stopped her for long enough to stop the jump. Hopefully she can now get help.
Thanks, Irene. Glad it worked for you.
A helping hand needs no language! Well done!
Absolutely! Thank you.
That little ‘I help’ says it all. And though I am not fluent in Polish (the odd word here and there, but nothing brilliant), it made perfect sense. A lovely story.
Thanks, Francesca. I’m hoping that readers don’t have to understand any Polish to understand what’s going on.
This was well written, you get a sense of the undefined political concerns, the things that might motivate rebellious activity by one, and escape by another…
Well done.
KT
Thank you. I’m not sure about rebellious activity… his job was to spray paint circles around holes in the pavement (as in the picture) but perhaps that didn’t come across too clearly.
Ha! I saw that as a resistance graffiti artist of some sort!
I’m probably just being dramatic :).
I like how the man responds almost like a reflex action…a good one…
Thank you. Yes, a reflex.
An outstretched hand is a universal language. I enjoyed this feel good story.
Thanks, Dawn. That’s such a great way of putting it.
A nicely written piece as always. Marek’s impatient supervisor was a nice touch.
PS I see from the SOtospeak leaflet you will be in Bitterne next month – I will be sure to come along
Thanks, glad you liked it. And it would be great to see you at Bitterne. Make sure you come and say hello!
I will 🙂
Have just voted for your novel in the Edinburgh First Book Award.That would be Christmas presents sorted if I won the draw! Hope other bloggers are voting too – it’s very easy. Good luck!
Thank you so much. Really appreciated – and good luck to you too!
बहुत अच्छा लिखा है
Which means ‘very well written’ but you knew I was going to say that. And your book is in our city council library! Woo hoo! And I just reserved a copy now.
Hurrah! Let me know what you think when you’ve read it.
In one word ‘Stunning’. Finished reading it last night. A lot more darker than I expected but a treat to read. How many squirrels did you skin before you got it right? I am still digesting that ending. That just raised the bar.
Oh! Thank you so much – what lovely things to say. No squirrels were harmed (by me) in the writing of Our Endless Numbered Days (but I did watch many many Youtube videos!)
I don’t speak Polish but this needs nothing; it’s gorgeous as is! Love this story, Claire.
I voted a while ago, and sent the link to the book group. So excited for the success of your book!
Thanks so much, Dawn. Glad you liked it.