Flash Fiction: Into the Sun

crook

Cara goes by bicycle to the village shop. The sky is polished blue.
As I lie down with Peter in the grassy hollow I imagine Cara peddling home, into the sun.
Time slows: minutes become hours
Peter turns towards me.
Hours become days
I think of Cara squinting, stopping.
Days become weeks
Peter leans forward.
Weeks become months
I picture Cara pushing the bicycle, head bowed.
Months become years
One first kiss, and a shadow falls. We shade our eyes, look up. Cara, her face dark under her hat, frowns.

***

This is a Friday Fictioneers story: a 100-word piece inspired by the picture (this week provided by Sandra Crook). Friday Fictioneers is hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Click here to read other people’s stories, or here to join in.

I’d love to know what you think – constructive criticism gratefully received – leave a comment below.

 

56 thoughts on “Flash Fiction: Into the Sun

  1. Dear Claire,

    There’s such a sense of passing time as we see Cara peddling and, later pushing. I am, however, mystified by Cara and who she might be. That doesn’t detract from my enjoyment of the story as a whole, though. Well written as I’d expect and am never disappointed.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s an interesting depiction of the passing of time, the stretching of time. They’ve waited so long for that first kiss, and possibly savoured every moment in that build up. Or they’ve been smoking something – it can give that effect.
    Cara could of course be her lover.
    Worth a few rereads.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Claire,
    Great story! I know that sense of time speeding up and slowing down when you are in love. It seems that Cara did not follow the same slowing time frame as the other two. I’m guessing that Peter is Cara’s boyfriend maybe?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love this. Time really seems to stand still while reading. This is exactly how time feels when that first kiss finally, finally comes. To me Cara at first read like a child, then as the narrator’s lover or potential lover. Somehow I didn’t see Cara with Peter. I think that’s because the narrator constantly has Cara on her mind, even while waiting for that kiss. If there wasn’t some guilt involved, why think about her all the time instead of thinking of Peter?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This was wonderful, Claire. I love how your readers have interpreted it in so many ways. Bravo!
    I loved the sense of time rushing and standing still.
    I like to think the storyteller is stealing the kiss before Cara comes in and ruins it.

    Liked by 1 person

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