I wake with my eyes still closed and hear the squeak of the treadle that you asked me to oil, the hum of the wheel under your hand. I imagine the needle, ticker, ticker, tickering, in and out of the hem; your pursed mouth and concentrated frown. I smile when you swear, almost see the pins falling from your lips, the pricked finger, and the thread snapped.
But your chair is cold when I rise, the machine still. Only the stain of faded blood on the edge of my shirt proves that once you sat and sewed.
*
This is a 100-word (or so) piece of flash fiction written as part of the Friday Fictioneers Group, hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. This week the picture is supplied by the wonderful writer Sandra Crook (go and look at her writing – it’s very good). Click here to join in and write your own story, or here to read some more.
Dear Claire,
I suspect the pricked finger has something to do with the faint bloodstain on the shirt. I love your descriptions and feel that I’m there with more story lurking just around the corner.
Shalom,
Rochelle
I think you’re right. Thanks Rochelle.
I have a vague feeling of murder, but it could be something else…love how you left it open to reader. If it was the needle it reminds me of an odd Indonesian film I once saw. The subject was hard to understand but I think it was abuse… nevertheless I will never forget the very long extended scene where the young girl was sitting sewing her fingers together…. painful to watch.
I wasn’t really thinking of anything sinister, just the memory of someone gone. But that film sounds very scary.
Very touching portrait. Great description and evoked a melancholy atmosphere. Lovely.
Thanks Iain. Glad you liked it.
Beautifully poignant piece.
I am assuming the blood is from her pricked finger, and not as a result of him pulverising her skull with a Meissen thimble.
You would assume right. It’s just about memory rather than murder.
I had to do a double-take on the traces of blood, but in the end I came to the same conclusion as everyone else. But, in that case, I wondered why he (or she) was wearing the seamstress’ shirt. I really liked the nostalgic mood to it.
I think she was sewing a shirt for him. Perhaps she was his lover or his wife. I don’t know.
A small moment, expertly captured. Well done. You can smell the room, see the stain. Splendid.
This brings back memories of my grandmother… great atmosphere with amazing detail. And blood stains are tough.
Especially when you’d rather keep them in. Glad you liked it.
I was wondering about that, thinking of bleach and cold water… you confirmed my suspicion. 😀
I love the unknown here…left hanging… great Flash 😉
Thanks Morgan. Glad you liked it.
Wonderful vivid descriptions that make for a wistful melancholic tale. It feels right in the middle of ‘something’. Perhaps we will discover more one day.
Thanks Graham. Glad you liked it. And you’re right it does sound like it’s in the middle of something, but I don’t know what.
I got a strong sense of longing sense. Short, sweet, yet everything. 🙂
Ahh, thanks so much Minelli
My first thought was murder. Blood on FF usually means death…lol. However, I can see that you perhaps had other thoughts in mind. Some nice description.
Hah! I can see that it does from some of the early comments. I honestly hadn’t been thinking of that – just a pricked finger.
Beautiful Claire.
Thank you!
Beautiful piece with so much longing and memory.
Thanks Alicia!
Picking up dropped pins, was such a miserable task for the apprentice dressmaker. 🙂
I loved this. It has an almost poetic lilt to it with the phrase ‘… once you sat and sewed.’ Such a heartfelt tale of loss and grief. Well done.
Thanks Sandra. Nice to hear.
Wonderful story, Claire. It does have a lovely rhythm to it, with the ticker,ticker tickering. And the blood on the shirt serving as a symbol of death and the ghost of the lost ‘you’. Lovely
Thanks Lynn. All the things I was going for.
My pleasure. And a pleasure to read 🙂
Great atmosphere and I could sense his longing.
Thanks Clare. Glad you liked it.
We still have some of the doilies my mother crocheted. When I look at those I can see her sitting there with thread wove around her crochet needle hooking the loops together. I loved the feel of this sweet, nostalgic piece.
That’s a lovely memory. Thank you.
This was like a fuzzy blanket, it wrapped around me. I love my “soft memories” of my parents the most. I don’t know if that makes any sense but you touched a nerve with this one.
Tracey
So pleased this touched you, Tracey.
I think of an old couple, the one spouse passed.
A wistful tale of life.
Enjoyable read.
Certainly could be. Thanks Dawn.
Highly descriptive, Claire. You caught not only the person, but the atmosphere as well. Great feelings. As for the blood, I imagined it was from the pins. Glad you didn’t go dark on this one.
What???? No narration? I’m hurt! 🙁
As usual, terrific job, Claire! 🙂
Thank you! I know, I forgot about the audio and now it seems too late. Next week, I promise.
No problem. We got a story and it was good, period. 🙂
Beautifully composed depiction of a sad moment
Beautifully composed piece of a very sad and emotional moment
Thanks so much Michael
What a nice, quiet moment of reflection about the connection between these two, reminding us that the often unnoticed acts like making or mending clothes are acts of love. Nice!
Thanks Emily. That was the kind of thing I was hoping to capture.
Your descriptions and phrasing are as always, so vivid and we can see the current scene and the memory perfectly clearly. Like some others i saw something sinister in the blood at first reading, but maybe that is just me as a reader, trained by fiction to interpret the mention of blood in that way?
I think that’s trained by FF! Blood = murder. Glad you liked it.
I assumed it was a memoir and not anything violent and saw I was right. You let us hear the sounds which is powerful. Excellent writing, Claire. —- Suzanne
Thanks so much Suzanne
The end was intriguing and made me want to read more.
Thank you!
I loved where you went with this prompt. I longed to know
more by the time I got to the end. Nice story …
Isadora 😎
Thank you!