Petersen tensed, peering. The headlights showed snow coming down thick and two feet of white road. He felt the wheels skate, and he braked without thinking. Beside him, Julius slammed his hands against the dashboard and swore, while the car turned in a circle, graceful even in its gliding. And then a hard, heavy lurch forwards into a ditch.
‘Christ, oh Christ,’ Julius cried.
‘It’s alright,’ Petersen said. Calmness he’d feigned for so long he almost believed it.
‘We’ll be too late!’
‘We’ll walk.’ Petersen took his doctor’s bag from the back seat and clambered out into the storm.
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This is a 100-word flash fiction, inspired by the picture, provided by Dale Rogerson. Click here to join in and read others’ stories.
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This week my second novel, Swimming Lessons, was selected by YOU Magazine in the UK as their Reading Group book. Click here to buy it at a discount, to see some book club questions, and to read an exclusive piece by me about what’s true and what isn’t in the novel.
“We’ll be too late” is a great hook. And Peterson’s feigned calm is a great character trait. There’s a rogue apostrophe on the first Julius
Thanks, (and thanks for the spot).
Dear Claire,
Driving in snow is treacherous. You’ve captured it to a T. and that last line leaves me wanting to read more. Well done as always.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle.
Hmm… I’m guessing there’s a baby coming? Nice suspense and mystery, regardless!
Actually, in my mind it’s not that, but since I don’t say, it reads as if it could be.
So much said in so few words.
A calm doctor, an agitated passenger, a baby on the way, perhaps?
Edge of the seat!
I’m thinking a death, although they don’t know that yet. But equally could have been a baby. Thanks!
Beautiful piece Claire, as always. Such effortless, unshowy prose , and the hint of the story we long to know. I look forward to reading more of your writing – have ordered Swimming Lessons – will be waiting for me back in London later this week.
Thank you for your kind comments. And thanks so much for ordering Swimming Lessons. I hope you enjoy it.
Tense, with a great sense of motion. I like how you evoke the cold and the danger, especially the ticking clock. Well done.
Thank you!
Such a graphic description of braking in heavy snow. The silent grace of the manoeuvre, until the climax. Good one.
Thanks, Sandra!
There is an ominous feel to this. Not only because of the “We’ll be too late…” but also because of the walk ahead in treacherous conditions. A great read, Claire.
Oh, I want to know more. You capture a mood so well.
Really enjoyed Swimming Lessons, by the way.
Thank you!
That is one messed up house call.
It certainly is.
Oh, who are they trying to reach – I’m going with an expectant mother who picked the wrong night to give birth!
So much left for us to question and complete – it’s great! This is really lovely writing – ‘…graceful even in its gliding’ is particularly nice. You set the tension brilliantly.
Oh, I’m desperate to know where they have to get to! And congratulations on your book being selected by YOU magazine!
Beautifully constructed story. A single rather trivial incident serving, with the surrounding circumstances and characters turning it into a gripping narrative. Very, very skilful.
Oops, I messed up. Second sentence should read “A single rather trivial incident serves as the plot, with the surrounding circumstances and characters turning it into a gripping narrative.”
Congratulations on your book being selected. I can’t wait to get a copy. Very suspenseful story, it left me wanting to know the rest of the story! 🙂
Thanks, Brenda!
What a great description: feigned calm, stressed passenger, sense of urgency and… and?
I did a beautiful 360 once… ended up exactly where I had started. And on another, it was black ice, extremely graceful as I slid ever so gently into the ditch. A thing of beauty.
It is often graceful, although horribly frightening. Glad you were alright.
Absolutely!
Beautifup descriptions! Especially loved this part ‘…while the car turned in a circle, graceful even in its gliding.’
I just pray that they reach on time.
Me too! And thanks.
Keep calm and carry on! Wonderfully descriptive Claire.
You captured the tension of driving in the snow. I could feel my own hands clenching the steering wheel. And “We’ll be too late” is a cliffhanger that makes me want to know more. Congratulations on Swimming Lessons being selected! What an honor!
Thanks so much Jan.
The presence of Julius is intriguing. Somehow, I feel he’s not a doctor. Well done, Claire.
I could see the scene clearly, though ‘two feet of white road’ has me puzzled. I like ‘graceful even in its gliding’, knowing the sensation of slow motion too well!
we have a concierge doctor here. he arrives rain or shine via uber. now there is a winter storm coming and our boy has a fever. we’ll see what happens.
cheers.
Oh, I hope he was ok.
The detail of the doctor’s bag added so much to the faked calmness… I imagine a woman in labor waiting somewhere.
Could be… thanks Bjorn.
Another wonderfully descriptive piece from you Claire. You make it look so effortless. Looking forward to reading your third book this year.
Thank you!
I love lots of things about this – some of them simply highly personal to me! The inevitability of the crash is lovely as is Peterson’s character. I was reminded of the opening (openings) of Life after Life – snow is a great plot device for lateness, changes of direction.
A few comments mentioned a baby. I was born on a snow-drizzle evening. The doctor and midwife were stuck in early evening suburban traffic in their respective cars and the assistant mid-wife arrived on her bike to deliver me (thus depriving my Dad of that duty). It was her first independent delivery and she was well chuffed. Mum was quite pleased too!
Sounds like Peterson’s been here before. Just take it in stride and keep moving on..