“Sit still Ricky.” The boy burrowed his face into his mother’s neck.
“How long has he been complaining of the pain?” Asked Dr Matthews.
“Oh, he never complains.”
“A stoic little boy, eh?” Mother and child looked blank. The doctor coughed. “Well, let’s take a look, shall we?”
“He says it feels like butterflies or…”
“If you could just hold him tight,” the doctor interrupted. He turned on his otoscope and shone the instrument into Ricky’s ear. There were the usual spirals but then near the eardrum Dr Matthews saw a light and just in front, shadows, dancing.
“…or angels,” said his mother.
***
I sent this picture to my friend Sarah this week, simply because I liked it, and she said it reminded her of the inside of an ear. She also suggested other things, but they’re probably too rude to print. So, ear it was.
This piece of writing is part of the Friday Fictioneers writing group. Each week writers from around the world attempt to write 100 words (or so) starting with a picture, this week from Jennifer Pendergast.
I’d love to receive comments and constructive criticism. Click here to read other people’s stories inspired by this picture or to join in, with the group hosted by Rochelle Wishoff-Fields.
This reminds me of the last time I took My youngest daughter to the emergency room. There was a child there who had stuffed a piece from the life game (those little pegs that go in the car) All the way up his nose. And I got stuck there. Great post!
Ah! I have a daughter who stuck a piece of rubber up her nose and we had to go to the doctor to get it removed. Definitely prompts personal memories.
Thanks so much for your comments. What is it with children and noses? I wonder if your two found an angel would they stuff it in their ears? I guess Ricky did…
Isn’t it amazing how such a diminutive piece of writing can offer so much? A thoroughly enchanting tale. Thank you for sharing. Regards, Paul
Thanks Paul, I’m really glad you enjoyed it.
Claire
Interesting angle!
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
When I finished reading this story the word in my head was…. pretty.
That’s a good word to have in your head – better, perhaps than angels…
Well, that was original!
Hah! I wasn’t expecting it either.
Isn’t it funny how it works like that sometimes.
Love the possibilities in this piece!
Yes, depends on whether you’re a skeptic or willing to go where the fancy takes you
I really like this. Very nice. Sweet little story 🙂
Thanks. Glad you liked it.
Claire
I loved the blank response to ‘stoic’. A great little flash Claire, well done.
Thanks Sandra. I thought it was a quick way of getting some characterisation in there.
I can’t believe how you came up with this (in a positive vein)…but it is so very cleverly written. The inside of an ear…the staircase. .. 🙂
Thanks. Apart from the prompt from Sarah – that the picture looked like an ear, I’m not sure where it came from either.
An interesting and sweet take on the prompt…! 🙂
Thanks Carolyn. Glad you enjoyed it.
Claire
Good imagination from your friend..and you have turned it into a very interesting short story
Thanks. I might try that again next week. Send the picture to someone else and see what happens. Kind of like a double prompt.
Claire
I like how you took the picture in a whole other direction, and had us enter through the ear canal in order to see it… Angels, indeed. How nice.
Congratulations, Randy
Thanks Randy. Have you never hooked an angel from out of your ear…? Oh, am I the only one…
“A stoic little boy, eh?” Mother and child looked blank.I agree with Sandra, a real moment of magic there…I have a daughter like that and a similar relationship with her. Very nicely put.”
Thanks, as I said to Sandra, I was trying to get some characterisation in, which is hard when it has to be so short.
Oh I feel you really did it. It just struck home, that intuitive look to each other, that instant understanding between them. I made one love, admire that relation they had between them, as mother and child, and see the goodness, innocence, confusion, trust in them – it’s what took them to the doctor in the first place, as they both would never make a needless fuss. It’s moments like that when reading that are wonderful.
Nice imagination your friend has. It does remind me of the inner ear. Nice story.
She’s a one, that Sarah. Thanks for your comments.
I love this idea, it’s quite magical and strange – in a good way!
Exactly what I was hoping to achieve, thanks Trudy.
Claire
Nice writing! You could even add more about what the doctor sees when he looks into the ear, like actual images of a spiral staircase. But that might just be what I was picturing while I read it. I really enjoyed it.
I had that bit much longer – when he looks into the ear – to try and draw it out and add suspense, but of course it all had to go to down the word count. I love the idea that he might have seen the staircase too. I hadn’t thought of that.
Dear Claire,
Certainly a unique take on the prompt. That little boy has a lot going on inside his head. Good job.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle. I aim to surprise!
Claire
And surprise you did ;).
Nice. I liked that. Very tight, very clever.
That’s a real compliment – ‘tight writing’ – that’s when I know I’m getting it right. Thanks,
Claire
“She also suggested other things…” had me giggling =)
Hah! Yes, Sarah can be rather cheeky…
Claire
I read this the other day but didn’t comment. It stuck with me, dancing inside my little head. I love the the blank stare as well. I truly feel this was a unique take on the prompt. There have been some rather creative takes this week but so far this is my favorite. This is magical and makes me smile! Excellent!
Tom
Thanks so much Tom. It means a lot when someone says that my story stuck with them. I’m really pleased that it worked for you. Thanks for commenting.
Claire
This brought back so many memories of visits to the doctor when I was a child — I was prone to ear infections. Too bad they weren’t angels in there!
Poor you, but I’m glad it rang a bell. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
A surprise indeed. Little boy sounds pretty special! I’m glad you liked the photo.
The photo is beautiful and very inspirational – thanks for providing it, reading and commenting.
aww I like the idea of dancing angels in a child’s ear
Thanks Leslie. Glad you enjoyed it.
Claire
Not sure I’d like angels dancing in my ear, I’m sure they have better things to do! A really well written little scene – very realistic. A very interesting and unusual take on the prompt 🙂
Thanks. I have no idea either what they’re doing in there, and is the doctor going to try and get them out?
Claire
Dear Claire,
This story has the feel of the beginning of a children’s book. I enjoyed it very much. Was it my ear all they’d see is vacuum and darkness.
Thank you for visiting my story and commenting.
Aloha,
Doug
Hah! I think if it was your ear we might see words and few more words and then a bit of golf…
Claire
Well done!
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
Great story, and as usual, I like stories the best were I can imagine a real and bigger story behind. I am very curious about what’s inside his head… This is a story to continue.
Thanks Bjorn. I think we’d all like to know…
The ear was a good take. Angels? Hope not… maybe a tiny spider. Good one, Claire
Urgh. A tiny spider would be worse I think.
Too busy to write one myself this week, but came to read. You nailed it.
That’s so nice of you to visit even when not writing. Glad you enjoyed it, and I hope you find the time this week – I really enjoy your stories.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and the description of what you see is as well. Each of us describes something different.
And feeling, I suppose…
I HOPE there’s an angel inside my ear!
I wonder what it would say to you…
Actually, I believe I WAS contacted by my ‘angel’ last week. I had a fall (of the non-spiritual kind) and then a dream to tell me why I fell. I may well have an angel tenant in my ear.
I hope you’re charging them rent…
Yes and as angels don’t carry money, I make them pay me in miracles instead. Ann
I like this story very much. Very different setting!