He said he would bring a picnic. I imagined smoked salmon and cucumber sandwiches, which we would open up to sharpen with lemon quarters and fresh black pepper. I imagined chilled wine in real glasses. He brought Dairylea cheese triangles, a litre bottle of diluted blackcurrant squash and his son.
“You didn’t tell me you were a father,” I said. We watched the boy, aged about five, jump to grab a spindly branch from one of the specimen trees. He caught it and pulled hard until the branch started to tear away from the trunk.
“Don’t do that Sam,” Thomas called half-heartedly from beside me on the lawn. “Didn’t I?” he said to me.
“It doesn’t appear to be coming very naturally,” I said, wiping the top of the plastic bottle. I took a swig; it tasted of cream cheese.
“I’m still getting used to the idea. Give me another couple of months and I’ll have got the hang of it.” I passed him the squash.
“A slow learner?”
“Not exactly,” he said without looking at me. “I only found out about Sam’s existence three months ago.”
***
This story is from a new writing group for me – Trifecta. Each Monday writers are challenged to write a story between 33 and 333 words long using a specified word and its meaning. This week (seventy-nine) the word is appear and the meaning is to have an outward aspect: seem. Click here to read some other responses or to join in.
I’d love to hear what you think about this piece – good or bad. Let me know in the comment box below.
The photograph belongs to http://www.flickr.com/photos/y_ordan/
I like it! I like how she is surprised by the existence of the son, and then that is wrapped up in the fact that HE is surprised by the existence of the son. Well done!
best,
MOV
I hadn’t thought of it like that, but now you say…
Thanks for reading.
Claire
Well done. I liked the flow and the surprise at the end. You did a good job with the setting with how few words you had to use.
Thanks Jennifer. Glad you enjoyed it.
I like this. I’m left wondering if any of these relationships are going to work out. Would like to hear from them again in 12-months to see how they’re getting on.
I do have a plan for them all, it remains to be seen whether they’ll let me put it into action.Thanks for reading
Will look forward to hearing more about them then, maybe.
Only a few months since he met his own son? I want to know more about him, why he only knows of Sam now, and whether or not the other character is his mother. 🙂
I’m not sure that would work, with the other character being his mother, since she says ‘I didn’t know you had a son’. But an interesting idea that would change the dynamics radically.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Great opening description of what she hoped and what he brought. And the detail of the drink in a plastic bottle tasting of cream cheese. Wonderful. I’m intrigued by the story.
Thanks Steph. I’m sure I’ve been in that situation myself, hoping for lovely food and being served up something not so good.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Welcome to Trifecta, Claire.
This is an interesting story. I liked the thoughts it generates.
Hi Ted. We all seem to on Trifecta – we mustn’t forget the lovely Friday Fictioneers though. Thanks for your comments.
Welcome to Trifecta, we’re glad to have you! You definitely left me wanting more.
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.
I like the fact that he’s stepping up to be a part of his son’s life. I hadn’t thought about the possibility of the woman being the child’s mom. Interesting possibilities here!
Oh,and welcome to Trifecta 🙂
Thanks! I’m not sure it work with the woman being the boy’s mother, but glad you enjoyed the piece and thanks for your comments.
Claire
Welcome to Trifecta. What a wonderful tale to open up with. I loved, ” I imagined chilled wine in real glasses. He brought Dairylea cheese triangles, a litre bottle of diluted blackcurrant squash and his son.” A tremendous way to change the direction of your story.
Thanks Mike, really pleased you enjoyed it.
Claire
I’d love to hear more about this story and these characters. This is interesting.
They are characters I’m working on for something longer, so they’re probably going to be back soon.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
Another Fictioneer amont the trifectians… nice to see you here. And a very intriguing story.. 🙂
Oh those high-flying expectations. You set up the situation nicely – I could hear her disappointment.
Welcome!
Oh, very interesting twist! Definitely explains his seeming incompetence. Would love to see more of this story.
Welcome to Trifecta! 🙂