No one had looked up when Margaret had said she was off out. However, instead of going to book group, she undressed on the beach and stood, naked, under the vast arc of an inky sky studded with stars. At her feet was the sea, lapping the concrete steps with its cold, black tongue.
Margaret lifted her arms above her head and dived. She swam underwater as far as her breath would take her, then when she surfaced, Margaret turned and trod water, looking back at the string of town lights behind the dunes. She had never felt so alive.
***
For those who don’t know how Friday Fictioneers works, this picture (this time supplied by Dawn Landau) is our inspiration for our weekly online writing group hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Click here to read other people’s amazing stories or to join in. And please comment below with any suggestions for improvement on mine.
Sounds like a great, exhilarating experience. I love your description here.
Thanks David. Glad you enjoyed it.
Seems Margaret longs for something more than book group. Lovely writing, darling.
She definitely wants something more. I just have completely worked out what yet.
i liked the feeling of liberation in this piece. and loved the descriptions. particularly “the sea, lapping the concrete steps with its cold, black tongue.” lovely writing 🙂
Thanks kz, glad you enjoyed it.
Very graphic, I could almost have been there.
I’ll meet you on the beach in half an hour…
Into the unknown… so well written. Loved it.
Thanks Mike. Pleased it worked for you.
I was so relieved she wasn’t killing herself. 🙂 Such a lovely vignette. I’m confused by this bit, though: “she was off out.” I feel it’s a typo but am not sure of what. Like your new gravatar, by the way.
janet
That’s probably British idiom. If we’re going out, colloquially we might say ‘I’m off out now, bye!” But if it doesn’t read well in US English I’ll have a little think.
And I was trying to lead readers up the path of whether she’s going to kill herself. I’m pleased you got that.
And, I thought it was time a I had a ‘real’ face!
I like your real face. I read a lot of British authors but have never run across “off out.” Always fun to learn something new that isn’t off-color! 🙂 We’d probably say, “I’m off” or “I’m going out.”
You created nice images here.
Thanks!
At first I thought she was after her own awakening.I like that she was only taking the release of a cleansing night swim. Happens to be my most favorite release. Also glad to read the explanation of “off out” This yankee was a little confused.
‘Her own awakening’? Not quite sure what you mean. Perhaps I’m a little British Englishly confused…
No. I was unclear. It was a reference to the book The Awakening by Kate Chopin.
It’s really wonderful Claire.
Ahh, thanks Linda.
Dear Claire,
As a latent mermaid I completely understood. Never do I feel more alive than in the water. You captured her liberation well and your last line is perfection.
shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle, and for choosing such a fantastic picture this week.
I braced for a tale of death, but the death here was when she shed the worries of the dry world and immersed herself in the refreshing waters. I will wade and ride a raft in the ocean, but I am not confident enough in my swimming prowess to venture very far away from the beach.
I’m glad you had that feeling – that’s what I had hoped for.
Seems like she is not just casting off her clothes but freeing her mind as well. Really liked the imagery here.
I love swimming in the ocean at night… and yet find it creepy as well. I can see this scene so clearly. So freeing and exhilarating!
Congrats on the publication of your book; so very exciting!
Thanks. I’ve never swum in the ocean (or sea) at night, but I do love wild swimming. And thanks for the congratulations.
Wonderfully descriptive writing.
Glad you enjoyed it.
This is so lovely. There’s nothing like being in the water at night… 🙂
I’ve never done it, but I am planning.
Oh do!
This was really good – thanks for the enjoyment! Nan
I really enjoyed this. So much better than book group!
Definitely better than book group!
Sounds so refreshing, and so much more fun than the book group
Thanks Bjorn. A dip in the water is always refreshing (especially in Sweden).
If you can hack your way through the ice.
Hmm, not so sure about in the winter. But I swam off Grinda a couple of summers ago and that was wonderful.
Ahh yes the Stockholm archipelago is wonderful.. I go kayaking there most summers..
Wow, what could be more invigorating that a night swim in the ocean. I can just see her jumping off the steps and looking back at the shoreline. Marvelous!
Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it.
I can remember being young and skinny dipping in the moonlight. It was indeed a most freeing exhilarating experience.
Being in ‘wild’ water is always exhilarating. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Brrrrrrhhhh, this made my teeth ache with the thought of the cold hit when she dived!!! Well done….
I know. I couldn’t fit in description of the cold; not enough word space. Thanks for reading and commenting.
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