Flora heard Rex whispering in the bathroom.
‘Dad?’ She knocked on the door. ‘Are you okay?’
‘It’s just your mother,’ her father called.
‘Dad?’ She rattled the handle. ‘Unlock the door, please.’ The bolt was drawn back. Rex, in his dressing gown, led her into the chilly room.
The shower curtain had been pulled across. ‘Look,’ he said, his hand on the edge of the plastic. Flora’s heart leapt. Her father drew back the curtain, revealing an empty bath, cooling water, and on the wall, the large mirror. ‘Do you see her?’ he said.
Flora saw only herself and an old man.
*
This is a 102-word piece of flash fiction based on the picture prompt above, this week provided by Janet Webb. It’s part of the Friday Fictioneers group run by Rochelle Wisoff-Field. Rochelle dedicates a great deal of her time each week to uploading, visiting and commenting on all our pieces of writing. To join in with your own story, visit Rochelle’s website here, or to read some of the other stories based on this prompt click here.
Such a sad story Claire. The image of listening to someone whispering in the bathroom is quite arresting.
Thanks Sandra.
Really touching Claire. I guess Flora has lost both her parents in completely different senses.
Yes, I think so. Thanks for reading
Enjoyed reading your story, Claire!
Thanks Shilpa
A sad story but a great read.
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.
Claire
The mind sometimes find ways to comfort when the pain is too big.
That’s a good way of putting it. Thanks for reading.
Claire
So, so, excellent. Highly descriptive and I was in that story big time. Nice work, Claire!
Thank you! Really pleased it worked for you.
Claire
Claire, this story is sadly creepy OR maybe it’s very creepy. We don’t know and you let us decide. Is he just losing it or is something paranormal going on? My feeling was that her Dad is either having mental problems or so lost that he thinks he sees his dead wife. Either way, there’s so much pain in your little story
janet
I hadn’t even thought of the idea of it being a paranormal story, but I like that. Could go either way.
Thanks, Claire.
That’s a sad story, but so well told.
Thanks, glad you liked it.
Claire
A sad tale and one that is lived out in numerous houses unfortunately.
Yes, very sad. Thanks for reading.
Claire
Poignant. And what do you do when that kind of thing happens? Sweet but sad slice of life.
Very difficult. I’m not sure what Flora said to her father.
Claire
Maybe she was really there!
Okay, probably not. Poor man. Poor daughter.
Now that would make a good twist. That it’s Flora who’s going mad.
Claire
A heart-breaking tale you’ve told. Nice work.
Thank yo. Glad you enjoyed it.
So sad. I loved your short story on radio 4. Looking forward to hearing more
Thanks! And thanks for reading / listening to the Radio 4 story. Really appreciate it.
Claire
Dear Claire,
A touching story told in your own unique way. As we watch my husband’s mother fade away from us I feel the weight of this. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Oh, I’m sorry to hear that Rochelle. Luckily it hasn’t happened to anyone in my close family, yet.
Claire
Very poignant story, your words touched me.
Thank you. Glad you liked it.
Claire
Well done. You’ve led us to several possibilities about what’s going on here.
I like to keep things a little open. Glad you liked it.
Claire
Mind-loss has to be one of the cruelest fates for everyone involved. Well captured.
Thanks. Pleased it worked for you.
Claire
So this moment when you have lost both your parents.. So sad… But also show a sense of connection that is hard to loose.
Thanks Bjorn. That’s exactly it.
Claire
Interesting, that Rex is losing maybe is mind or feeling the loss of his wife, and then connecting to his daughter with his wife’s image. I hope I got that right. I think he’s searching for hope. Really well done, Claire.
I’m happy for you to interpret it in any way that works for you. Thanks for commenting.
Claire
A sad one but great read. The mind games to reduce the pain. And, then the pain of the child having lost one and fear of losing another. Very well written!
Oh, you summed it up very nicely! Thank you.
Claire
Every time I read one of your stories, I look forward to reading your book and determine that I will join Friday Fictioneers. I’d better make a deadline – October 30th – it’s in the diary
I’m expecting to read your entry by the end of next month! Exciting.
Claire
Dear Claire,
Your story is moving and sad and ever so well written. I could see it as you wrote it, like a short movie we are unable to stop watching. Compelling work.
Aloha,
Doug
Thanks Doug. You always say such lovely things.
Claire
Claire, Very sad. I went through seeing my mother mentally fade away with Alzheimer’s. At that point, they become the child and you become the parent. They are totally dependent on you. You made it real with this story. Well written as always. —Susan
Thanks Susan. Someone connecting with my story who has first-hand experience of this type of situation is a huge compliment. Thank you very much.
Claire
So sad and beautiful to read.
Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Claire
How sad, and so beautifully moving. We didn’t take part this week but I wanted to stop in and see what you’d written recently!
Thank you, that’s very kind. Glad you enjoyed it.
Claire
I’m loving what a mirror brings out for all of us this week, Claire! There is an air of both sad aging– dementia, and the potential for supernatural here. Either way, a wonderful story!
Yes, I quite like the supernatural idea, although it wasn’t what I was thinking when I wrote it.
Claire
Oh, Claire! This is a wonderful piece. The poor old man… dementia? ghosts from the past? And the daughter, what a disturbing situation to confront. I loved this.
Ghosts from the past is a good way of putting it.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
Beautifully written. I found my heartbeats speed up when her father was about to tug aside the shower curtain…….not knowing what was coming next. The poignancy of the story blew me away.
Just awesome.
Thanks so much. Glad you enjoyed it. Hopefully that one will make it into a scene in my second book.