Julianne regularly said good morning to magpies, would never walk under ladders, and always threw salt over her left shoulder. ‘To blind the devil,’ she said. Sometimes when we sat opposite each other at night outside the kitchen, I thought I saw something there, just behind her.
Despite all her precautions, Julianne was unlucky, or some said clumsy. She broke mirrors, tripped over paving, and electrical appliances would hiss and fuse when she came near.
Everyone said what happened must have been an accident, but they didn’t see what I did: that creature of the half-light staring back at me through the dark kitchen window.
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This is a 105-word piece of flash fiction based on the picture prompt above, this week provided by Dawn Q Landau. It’s part of the Friday Fictioneers group run by Rochelle Wisoff-Field. Rochelle dedicates a great deal of her time each week to uploading, visiting and commenting on all our pieces of writing. To join in with your own story, visit Rochelle’s website here, or to read some of the other stories based on this prompt click here.
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This week I need some help, particularly from US readers. Can you suggest any names of successful US authors of commercial women’s fiction? Not the really famous best-sellers, but those who are fairly well known, with well-received books. Thanks!
Claire Fuller 
Elegantly written, and a dark, interesting twist at the end. I like this very much.
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Thanks Kate, glad you liked it.
Claire
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Really dark! Loved the ending..it sent shivers down my spine!
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Thanks, glad you liked it. Claire
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I hope after destroying Julianne the ghost didn’t take over the narrator.
As to your US authors question…off the top of my head I can think of Laurie Notaro, Alisa Valdes, Lisa Howorth, and Donna Tartt. I believe they are all still living and writing.
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Thanks Melanie. I had in my mind that the narrator is actually the devil-figure, as reflection in the kitchen window, but I’m not sure that really came across. (I read it to my husband and he didn’t get it. Still I think it works without knowing that).
And thanks for the names. I’ll look them up.
Claire
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Great, poetic last line.
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Thanks Craig.
Claire
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[Shudder!]
Wonder if there’s anyone following me like this? I can make computers flash a blue screen of death just by walking past them….. have done it in doctors’ offices, little boutiques, groceries …. now you have me wondering ….
Great read!
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Oh no! Watch out for that devil-creature behind your left shoulder!
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
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🙂
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I always enjoy understated horror more than overt and this was done well (as usual.) I like the way you worked the salt into the story.
Now back to friend time and off the computer,
janet
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Thanks Janet. I looked at that picture for two days and nothing came to me. The salt is a slight reference, but I hope I got away with it 😉
Claire
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I agree with Janet. Nicely understated horror PLUS poet in its own right. Kudos, my dear.
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Thanks. Glad you liked it.
Claire
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I could just write ditto… Janet and Alicia nailed it! This was so perfectly understated Claire, and for that, I find it that much scarier! Such a creative way to work in the salt, too. Bravo!
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Ahh, thank you very much.
Claire
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Dear Claire,
I find myself adding another ‘ditto’ to your growing list. Wiley use of the prompt. Just enough. Applause!
shalom,
Rochelle
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PS. Jodi Thomas is one author that comes to mind. I read one of her books…romantic chick stuff. Janet Evanovich is another popular author. Hope this helps.
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Thanks Rochelle, for your time and comments. And indeed, thanks for the names – I shall go and look them up.
Claire
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Dear Claire,
Gives a whole new meaning to the words, ‘chosen people’. I hope I never find out what Julianne did. Great story.
As for your question re authors, is Phillip Roth on your list? Perhaps he’s far afield.. What about Jodi Picoult? Tess Gerritsen does crime novels with women characters. My mind is a colander and all the noodles have been drained, sorry.
Aloha,
Doug
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Thanks Doug. I love that – ‘my mind is a colander and all the noodles have been drained’ – I might have to put it in a novel. I’ve read a lot of Phillip Roth and really like his writing, but it’s probably too literary for what I’m looking for. Jodi Picoult is a good one; Tess Gerritsen I haven’t heard of, so I’ll go and look her up.
Thanks!
Claire
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At night the window would be a reflection, so the narrator finds out who they truly are? Sorry I just noticed your comment that it is the narrator. Very clever and beautifully written, Claire.
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Lovely tricksy bit of writing. I will be speaking to my Chicago based daughter later this evening. I’ll ask her about writers.
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That makes me anxious. Re the “dittos” above, here’s another: ditto the above.
(Pass the salt.)
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scary stuff.
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Claire, I didn’t get the part at first of the narrator being the devil figure, but went back and read it after reading some of the comments. Creepy story. That reflection in the dark window was especially scary. Evil and/or deranged people are much scarier than ghosts or spirits as they really exist. My daughter also lives in Chicago and is a reader. Her boyfriend writes short stories. I’ll ask her about writers. She’s an actor and writes some of her own material. Well written as usual. 🙂 —Susan
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Deliciously dark and well-written.
When I was growing up a lot of older people threw salt over their shoulder – I don’t think any of them expected the devil to fight back!
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Dear Claire, I love it! Good story and gives me the shudders and goose bumps! So impressive with this story!
Nan 🙂
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