Outside the library the woman is sitting at one of the tables and flicking through a newspaper. She has her back to me, but I recognise the straight hair and green mackintosh I saw through the café window.
My heart thumps in my chest as if I have been running. ‘Mum,’ I whisper. I step forward, close my eyes and breathe in the smell of her. For a few seconds she is returned to me.
When I look again, the woman is slowly turning around. She is my age, perhaps even younger.
‘Can I help you?’ she says, suspiciously.
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A 100-word or so story for Friday Fictioneers inspired by the picture above (supplied by Melanie Greenwood). Click here to join in, or here to read stories from other writers.
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This week I’ve written a blog post about the editing process I went through with my agent and the submission of my novel to publishers. Click here to have a read.
Excellent – surprising, poignant. You conveyed a lot with 100 words.
Thanks Kate. Glad you liked it.
Claire
Interesting that you construed this as a library; our local library is just like this photo. That moment of mistaken but hopeful recognition has been beautifully depicted here Claire. I sensed the let-down.
Thanks Sandra. A version of this scene takes place in the novel I’m writing, and in a library. Purely coincidence that it looks like yours. I promise I’m not stalking you 🙂
Claire
Oh my, this is heartbreaking. You captured it so well, I can say this from my own experience.
Ah, I’m sorry that your recognise this story, but I’m also pleased that you feel I got it right. Thanks,
Claire
That sense of anticipation is conveyed so well but this line ‘For a few seconds she is returned to me’ makes me wonder if she does this regularly with others too.
I hadn’t thought of that – but that’s a great idea. Creepy.
Claire
A sense of loss does funny things to the mind and memories. Well written.
Yes, and a smell will bring them back very vividly.
Claire
Lovely, Claire. You captured that moment of recognition and the let down well. I like the way you emphasize scent while also incorporating the visual cues. Beautiful.
Marie Gail
Thanks Marie Gail. I’m glad you liked it.
Claire
Sounds like an embarrassing finale – in fact I feel embarrassed for her.
I carried on writing this scene, and yes, she’s very embarrassed.
Claire
This is really moving, and so clear without you ever telling us any of the backstory. Lovely.
Thanks Jen, glad you liked it.
Claire
This broke my heart a little.
Ah, that’s a very sweet thing to say. Thank you.
Well written and intriguing.
Thanks, glad you liked it.
Claire
I can’t decide if this is sad or funny, just the image of a woman coming up behind another one and breathing deeply. Hopefully she finds her really mother though.
I think it’s a little creepy, especially if you’re the woman being breathed.
Claire
Dear Claire,
I feel like I’m repeating everyone but I’m going to anyway. 😉 Many layers to this one and I feel like I’ve read the back story. A sad and embarrassing moment well told.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle. I do feel for her.
Claire
Yeah, this is simultaneously sad and a little sweet. I like it.
KT
Thanks, glad you liked it.
Claire
So sad. What a nasty knock back. Made worse by the other woman’s suspicious response.
I guess anyone would be suspicious if you found someone behind you, sniffing!
Claire
Poor woman. Grief can do strange things to the mind.
Yes, and the sense of smell is powerful.
Claire
A memory and a recognition….I’ve had those, too. Sweet and sad at the same time but lovely all the same….
Lily
Thanks Lily, I’m glad you liked it.
Claire
I have had this moment, more than once, since my mother died. Beautifully done, Claire.
I’m sorry to hear that, but pleased that you feel I got it right.
Claire
It’s never a bad thing, Claire… just a fleeting sense that she was there for a moment. Often, a comfort.
Ah .. the longing, one knows she’ll be deluded, but still one waits and hopes. Good write.
Yes, I’m sure you’re right. Thanks for reading.
Claire
Welcome Claire …
The eye sees what the mind wants it to see. Well done!
That’s a good way of putting it. Thanks for reading.
Claire
Lovely, Claire, so moving, thanks for sharing. That sense of yearning is so palpable.
Thanks Anne. I’m glad you felt it.
Claire
I wonder why she missed her mum so much. The open ending leaves me thinking 🙂 Beautifully written.
I’m not sure… but thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
I really love this; it is so simple and so acute.
Thanks Hilary. Are you going to be joining in soon?
Claire
beautifully simple. Great emotional writing
Thanks Carrie, glad you liked it.
Claire
My heart sank a bit for her. Well told.
Mine too… thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
Beautifully heart wrenching. A familiar feeling for me – The year after I lost my dad, mom and sister, I saw them everywhere. Very well done, Claire.
Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that, but also pleased that you identified with it – that means I got it right.
Claire
Many of us would give anything for just a glimpse, a smell, a fleeting moment with a loved one. This has happened to me many times. Well written.
Good story! I began a new flash site where you get a photo prompt and the first sentence to the story. You get to finish the story! I hope that you can take a moment to check out Mondays Finish the Story! Be well! ^..^
So very sad. Well done!
A convincing scene. We do find it almost impossible to come to terms with the fact that death just removes people. Your story shows this struggle really well.
I came back to read this again today. That sense of smell. Such powerful memory moments. I feel badly for the narrator.
Then, I thought, maybe the narrator and ‘the woman’ will begin some sort of conversation.
I enjoyed this, Claire..
Ellespeth
Dear Claire, This is so good! I have been through this ‘feeling’ so many times over the years – not only with my Mother, but also with Daddy. Most of the time, I’m following a car that has a person driving that looks like one of them and just for a nano second, I am happy and it’s been over twenty years. Good job and well done! Nan 🙂
I enjoyed this. I`ve never had this happen to me, but it would be kind of freaky. And yes, embarrassing.
Claire, Sad but realistic. The sense of smell can bring back memories clearly. I know it always has for me. Well written as always. — Susan