Outside the library the woman is sitting at one of the tables and flicking through a newspaper. She has her back to me, but I recognise the straight hair and green mackintosh I saw through the café window.
My heart thumps in my chest as if I have been running. ‘Mum,’ I whisper. I step forward, close my eyes and breathe in the smell of her. For a few seconds she is returned to me.
When I look again, the woman is slowly turning around. She is my age, perhaps even younger.
‘Can I help you?’ she says, suspiciously.
***
A 100-word or so story for Friday Fictioneers inspired by the picture above (supplied by Melanie Greenwood). Click here to join in, or here to read stories from other writers.
***
This week I’ve written a blog post about the editing process I went through with my agent and the submission of my novel to publishers. Click here to have a read.
Excellent – surprising, poignant. You conveyed a lot with 100 words.
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Thanks Kate. Glad you liked it.
Claire
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Interesting that you construed this as a library; our local library is just like this photo. That moment of mistaken but hopeful recognition has been beautifully depicted here Claire. I sensed the let-down.
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Thanks Sandra. A version of this scene takes place in the novel I’m writing, and in a library. Purely coincidence that it looks like yours. I promise I’m not stalking you 🙂
Claire
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Oh my, this is heartbreaking. You captured it so well, I can say this from my own experience.
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Ah, I’m sorry that your recognise this story, but I’m also pleased that you feel I got it right. Thanks,
Claire
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That sense of anticipation is conveyed so well but this line ‘For a few seconds she is returned to me’ makes me wonder if she does this regularly with others too.
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I hadn’t thought of that – but that’s a great idea. Creepy.
Claire
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A sense of loss does funny things to the mind and memories. Well written.
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Yes, and a smell will bring them back very vividly.
Claire
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Lovely, Claire. You captured that moment of recognition and the let down well. I like the way you emphasize scent while also incorporating the visual cues. Beautiful.
Marie Gail
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Thanks Marie Gail. I’m glad you liked it.
Claire
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Sounds like an embarrassing finale – in fact I feel embarrassed for her.
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I carried on writing this scene, and yes, she’s very embarrassed.
Claire
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This is really moving, and so clear without you ever telling us any of the backstory. Lovely.
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Thanks Jen, glad you liked it.
Claire
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This broke my heart a little.
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Ah, that’s a very sweet thing to say. Thank you.
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Well written and intriguing.
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Thanks, glad you liked it.
Claire
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I can’t decide if this is sad or funny, just the image of a woman coming up behind another one and breathing deeply. Hopefully she finds her really mother though.
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I think it’s a little creepy, especially if you’re the woman being breathed.
Claire
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Dear Claire,
I feel like I’m repeating everyone but I’m going to anyway. 😉 Many layers to this one and I feel like I’ve read the back story. A sad and embarrassing moment well told.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle. I do feel for her.
Claire
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Yeah, this is simultaneously sad and a little sweet. I like it.
KT
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Thanks, glad you liked it.
Claire
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So sad. What a nasty knock back. Made worse by the other woman’s suspicious response.
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I guess anyone would be suspicious if you found someone behind you, sniffing!
Claire
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Poor woman. Grief can do strange things to the mind.
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Yes, and the sense of smell is powerful.
Claire
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A memory and a recognition….I’ve had those, too. Sweet and sad at the same time but lovely all the same….
Lily
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Thanks Lily, I’m glad you liked it.
Claire
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I have had this moment, more than once, since my mother died. Beautifully done, Claire.
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I’m sorry to hear that, but pleased that you feel I got it right.
Claire
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It’s never a bad thing, Claire… just a fleeting sense that she was there for a moment. Often, a comfort.
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Ah .. the longing, one knows she’ll be deluded, but still one waits and hopes. Good write.
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Yes, I’m sure you’re right. Thanks for reading.
Claire
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Welcome Claire …
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The eye sees what the mind wants it to see. Well done!
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That’s a good way of putting it. Thanks for reading.
Claire
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Lovely, Claire, so moving, thanks for sharing. That sense of yearning is so palpable.
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Thanks Anne. I’m glad you felt it.
Claire
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I wonder why she missed her mum so much. The open ending leaves me thinking 🙂 Beautifully written.
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I’m not sure… but thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
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I really love this; it is so simple and so acute.
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Thanks Hilary. Are you going to be joining in soon?
Claire
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beautifully simple. Great emotional writing
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Thanks Carrie, glad you liked it.
Claire
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My heart sank a bit for her. Well told.
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Mine too… thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
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Beautifully heart wrenching. A familiar feeling for me – The year after I lost my dad, mom and sister, I saw them everywhere. Very well done, Claire.
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Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that, but also pleased that you identified with it – that means I got it right.
Claire
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Many of us would give anything for just a glimpse, a smell, a fleeting moment with a loved one. This has happened to me many times. Well written.
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Good story! I began a new flash site where you get a photo prompt and the first sentence to the story. You get to finish the story! I hope that you can take a moment to check out Mondays Finish the Story! Be well! ^..^
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So very sad. Well done!
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A convincing scene. We do find it almost impossible to come to terms with the fact that death just removes people. Your story shows this struggle really well.
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I came back to read this again today. That sense of smell. Such powerful memory moments. I feel badly for the narrator.
Then, I thought, maybe the narrator and ‘the woman’ will begin some sort of conversation.
I enjoyed this, Claire..
Ellespeth
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Dear Claire, This is so good! I have been through this ‘feeling’ so many times over the years – not only with my Mother, but also with Daddy. Most of the time, I’m following a car that has a person driving that looks like one of them and just for a nano second, I am happy and it’s been over twenty years. Good job and well done! Nan 🙂
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I enjoyed this. I`ve never had this happen to me, but it would be kind of freaky. And yes, embarrassing.
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Claire, Sad but realistic. The sense of smell can bring back memories clearly. I know it always has for me. Well written as always. — Susan
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