Nan imagined sitting for ever in the car beside Viv. Until time deflated the tyres.
‘The weather’s been nice lately,’ Viv said.
The chassis would drop as the axles rusted.
‘Lovely,’ Nan said, looking ahead at the car park.
The rubber wipers would dry and crack, and as the months passed they would melt onto the windscreen.
‘For the time of year,’ she added.
The colour would leach from the paintwork, changing from red to rusty brown.
‘Hmm,’ agreed Viv.
Small animals would make a nest in the boot.
And Nan would find the courage to lean across to Viv and say, ‘Don’t go’.
***
Another Friday Fictioners 100-word flash. Click here to read some more. Here to join in. Thanks to Jean L Hayes for the picture. I’d really like to know what you think – constructive criticism, or just a hello – so please do leave a comment.
***
And if you like this story, you might like my novel Our Endless Numbered Days, out early next year. Click here to find out more, or here to add it to your Goodreads to-read list.
I love this. You’ve excelled yourself, Claire!
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Thanks Susan. Glad you liked it. And thanks for Tweeting it.
Claire
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Great story with great imagery 🙂
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Thanks for reading, Sean.
Claire
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A lovely analogy for a relationship in trouble. Well done, loved this.
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Thanks Sandra. I saw them as just starting out (or trying to), rather than a relationship in trouble, but of course, I’m happy for it to be taken any way.
Claire
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Oops! I think it was the first two lines that put me in a mind-set for the rest of the piece. This is what she’d imagined would be the case, but time deflated the tyres. It’s nice though, when a piece is enjoyable enough to be pored over to extract the author’s intent. Still loved it, even if I misconstrued it.
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Dear Claire,
I love the dreamlike tone of this. “Until time deflated the tyres.” Hopefully Nan can work up the courage to tell Viv how she before all that time passes.
In the first line shouldn’t it be forever rather than for ever?
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle – glad you liked it. I looked up forever, and in British English we spell it as either one word or two depending on the context (here, I’m pretty sure, two is correct). American English is always one word.
Clair
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Dear Claire,
I thought it might be something like that. Two countries separated by a common language. 😉 If you don’t ask, you don’t know. That you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Hmmm…wistful and beautiful. Nicely told, Claire.
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Thanks Mary, glad you liked it.
Claire
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I found this really sad. Viv’s as good as gone if you ask me.
Well told.
KT
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I think you’re right. Nan is never going to find the courage.
Claire
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Dear Claire,
Small Talk was a perfectly imagined and executed story that hits home for all of us. We’ve all been in the car and in both seats. Each week it is so very satisfying to read your stories. I should save them like dessert, but instead I eat them up right away. Lovely being one of your faithful readers.
Aloha,
Doug
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Thanks Doug. Your comments always mean a lot. And yes, I’ve definitely been in both seats.
Claire
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Intriguing.
And sadly so.
AnElephant wonders if Viv is leaving voluntarily.
Excellent piece of writing.
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I think she is, but I think she’d like Nan to say what she’s unable to say.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
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This is so beautiful, exceptionally well writen.
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Ahh, thank you. That means a lot.
Claire
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Fascinating stuff. Love the idea behind it – the passing of time etc.
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Thanks Paul. Glad you liked it.
Claire
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I love the juxtaposition of the single conversation and the passage of time, and wonder whether Viv is leaving by choice or force of circumstance. Very powerful either way
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Thanks Jen. I’m not exactly sure why Viv is leaving. I’ll have to write it as a bigger piece one day to find out.
Claire
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Claire, You never disappoint. This story had such great description. I could sense the time passing. Well written as always. 🙂 — Susan
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Thanks Susan. Glad you liked it this week.
Claire
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There are so many reasons to leave.. and just the way you describe the passing works for me as a metaphor of the death of small towns.. I think Viv will leave no matter what..
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Oh, I like that Bjorn – the death of small towns – I hadn’t even thought of that.
Thanks,
Claire
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So many beautiful analogies wrapped in one story. I feel a sense of melancholy.
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Yes, definitely melancholy. Glad you liked it, Dawn.
Claire
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This is a beautiful story of being tongue tied. How many times have each of us been there?
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So many times… Thanks for reading and commenting Alicia.
Claire
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I loved how complex this was whole still having a simple message, fab 🙂
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Thanks Helen, glad you liked it.
Claire
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That should be while not whole, obviously, lol
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Oh dear, that is so sad. I wept for Nan.
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Thanks Liz, glad you liked it. Poor Nan.
Claire
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A great blend of the passage of time with the healing of a relationship.
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Thanks Patrick. I don’t see it as healing – I think the thing that might have happened between them is unlikely to because neither of them can express what they’re feeling, but of course, I’m really happy with such a short piece for readers to take anything from it.
Claire
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‘Until time deflated the tires’… What a perfect phrase!
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Thanks Jessie. Glad you liked it.
Claire
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Very sensitive and touching story about two cars. You really infused them with life and made them truly human.
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Hah! Nan and Viv are most definitely human!
Claire
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A great analogy for a relationship as time passes. Let’s hope they visit the “car wash” from time to time to keep things fresh.
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Thank you. Yes, could get a little high in that car after a few months…
Claire
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There should be an “I like it a lot” button for this one. Very well told story of how we let time slip away from us without saying what we want to say.
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Thanks Honie, I’m really pleased you liked it.
Claire
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Claire,
you wrote the painful, awkward small talk perfectly, sitting there saying everything but what’s most important. Great story all the way through.
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Haven’t we all done that? Thanks for reading and commenting.
Claire
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I too thought of a long-term relationship where conversation sometimes gets dull, routine, or non-existent. I hope they make it!
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It’s no problem if you thought something different from my intention, as long as it worked.
Claire
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Heartbreaking imagery, perfectly delivered. Thank you for sharing your talent!
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Thanks Leona. Glad you liked it.
Claire
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Beautifully sad –
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Thank you.
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Hmm, looking at a few other comments, I’ve clearly misread this. I thought it was a post fatal accident conversation, as in Nan surviving and Viv being dead… very poignant.
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If I’d read the title properly, maybe I’d have been closer to the zone.
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Actually, I really like that idea, although it hadn’t occurred to me. Thanks, Hilary.
Claire
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Whatever it is you are portraying, whether two humans, two cars, or a fantasy relationship of a sci-fi/twilight zone/ or an aesthetically pleasing abstraction – it is quite moving to read, even imagine hearing, a “don’t go” verbalized by and to a loved one.
All of us ultimately fear being left alone.
Wow. Randy
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Thanks Randy. Sometimes such simple phrases are the hardest ones to say.
Claire
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Interesting twist on the high school pastime known in the U.S. as “parking.” I never participated in it as a youth, but it seems to me that your characters are doing a lot more talking than most kids in my neighborhood ever did.
I love the thoughts–so realistic, as though your character has some experience with aging vehicles. Nicely woven.
All my best,
Marie Gail
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I’ve not heard of the term parking, although I have come across the activity! I’m not sure these two are getting up to much apart from talking, although perhaps since they’re in a car we could call it tarking?
Claire
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Love, love, love this one, Claire. Really beautiful, and a fairy tale feel to it. So many gems– “Until time deflated the tyres,” being my favorite. Just wonderful!
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Thank you so much. I’m really pleased you liked it.
Claire
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It’s amazing how the invention of the car has been a vehicle (in another sense) for conversations and meaningful moments. It also goes to show that human beings will always find something as sterile as a piece of mechanics will or can have a big place in their hearts and memories. Very well done, Claire.
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It is a very good place to put people who need to have conversations. I’ve used the car quite lot, especially for arguments in the novel I’m writing now.
Claire
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Just beautiful !! Well done ! v
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Thanks, Veronika.
Claire
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“time deflated the tyres” ah you have such a wonderful way with words Claire. You should write a book.
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Ha! I hadn’t thought of that…
Claire
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I love the mix of dialog and descriptions of the deteriorating car. It’s sweet and sad at the same time. Lovely.
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Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it.
Claire
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Love the small talk.
Lily
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Wonderful images. Great dialogue.
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Poignant, moody look at a dying relationship. Beautifully written.
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