Jimmy and I ran under the rhododendrons, pressed our foreheads into the earth and jammed our hands over our ears until the noise stopped. When I sat up my head was ringing and I saw blood trickle from Jimmy’s ear and soak into his collar. We crawled out into the garden and for a moment I thought nothing had changed.
But we were alone. The picnickers, the tourists, our parents: all gone.
Weeks later we remembered the camera, the photos taken that day. And that’s when we saw it: a beam of light and high above a huge shape, hovering.
***
This is a Friday Fictioneers 100-word (exactly this week) story inspired by the picture supplied by Melanie Greenwood. Friday Fictioneers is organised and run by the wonderful Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Click here to join in, and here to read other pieces. I’d love to know what you think of mine – please leave a comment!
***
This week I’ve had a post (‘First Catch Yourself A Squirrel‘) published on the Tin House blog about some of the research I did for my novel, Our Endless Numbered Days.
I really enjoyed this, especially the description at the start that pulls us in.
Thanks Mr Binks. Your comment is appreciated!
Claire
fantastic….
Dear Claire,
I love a good sci-fi and this certainly falls under that heading. It feels like the beginning of a much larger work. A novel begging to be written.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle, I’m pleased you thought so.
Claire
In my head, this has turned into the opening scene of a movie – always a good sign.
That’s great! Thank you.
I love that what you saw is the light.
I just thought that everyone would go for the maze!
And you were right!
Beam me up Scotty is quite different if you are forcefully kidnapped.. That beam was the first thing that struck me, and I’m glad I didn’t go with the Sci-Fi angle.
Thanks for reading and commenting Bjorn.
we are not alone… love this sci-fi thriller.
No, it seems not! Thanks Rida.
I like the tension in this. Nicely written.
Thank you. Glad you liked it.
Yeah, that beam of light! Well done – focusing on that. Great sci-fi short waiting for more.
Thank you! Glad you liked it.
Claire
Great story Claire.
Thank you!
Well done Claire. At the end of the first paragraph I thought perhaps they were being chased by a maniac, never thought of aliens.
Hah! I liked that idea!
Nice take on the photo. Never really noticed the shaft of light. Kudos.
Thanks Paul. I just couldn’t think what to write about the maze.
Dear Claire,
I wondered how many folks would focus on that ray of light. I like your take on this. At first, I was thinking of the Blitz. At the end, I realized this could certainly be a Blitz of a new sort. Well written.
All my best,
Marie Gail
Yes – a good point. Thanks for reading.
Claire
I must admit I had to read this twice. I thought at first it was some terrible massacre or gunfire or something; I was also trying to work out what happened to Jimmy and if he’s OK. I suppose in a sense, maybe it was a massacre, but of a very different kind.
Congrats on the publication credit; it makes me want to get round to submitting again. One day…
Thanks Jen. Yes – you should submit again – you never know…
Excellent! I agree with all the other commenters. It really pulled me in from the first line and I wasn’t expecting the ending. Great!!
Thanks! I always like to surprise.
That was scary! Well done, Clare.
Thanks Liz. Glad you liked it.
Exciting though and through!
Thank you!
a new Left Behind series here….
Randy
Hah! Good idea…
Great story. I love it – of course there’s a spaceship up at the top of that beam. What else could there be?
I’m sure we’ll see it if we look hard enough
nice surprise at the end, but what happened to parents and all?
Alien abduction…
Another hanging ending. You could make a book of short stories – with the rest of the story added on.
One day… maybe. Thanks Hilary.
Great story! I like the sci-fi angle. Those boys had a lucky escape.
Thanks. It’s not my usual genre, but I enjoyed writing it.
feels like the beginning of a novel. well done.
Thanks, that’s kind of you to say so.
Claire
Fantastically mysterious story, would love to hear more of it!
Trouble is, it’s mysterious to me to!
Alien-abducted in a crop circle? Er, maze? Whatever went on, really interesting, and probably not as wild as I think…
Oh yes! I didn’t think about the crop circle / maze thing. Subconscious perhaps.
Perhaps…
I’m a fan of good sci-fi and this definitely falls into that category. You left me wanting to read more of the story. Congratulations on your post being published on the Tin House blog!
Thanks Kirsten, glad you liked it.
That was a rush. I liked the cadence and the suspense.
Thank you!
An exciting and well written piece of Sci-fi, Claire.That only the two of them were left is an intriguing thought, one that could well form the beginning of a much longer piece. I love the way the two were under the rhododendrons – presumably what saved the from being snatched / annihilated by some sort of aliens.You used that beam of light well for that. 🙂
Thank you. Wouldn’t it be terrifying if everyone else had gone. That’s kind of what happens in my novel.
Sounds very intriguing. Is it a sci-fi – or is that a silly question?
No, not a silly question – but not sci-fi. A girl gets taken by her father to the forest and there he tells her the rest of the world has disappeared and they are the only two people left. For nearly ten years she believes him. More information here, if you’re interested: http://clairefuller.co.uk/our-endless-numbered-days/
Thank you, Claire.
Interesting twist…. I was not ready for it until the end!
Thanks! Glad you surprised you.
Oh my goodness! Were the two children the only ones not abducted? What happened to their parents and the others?
I like what you did with the light ray.
Ellespeth
Yep, the only ones left I think. Glad you liked it
Claire
Scary! Poor Jimmy. Nice imagery. This leaves me hoping for more!
Great start and a surprise ending. Beautifully written as always.
Dear Claire – Awesome story and scary. The way the blood was coming from the boy’s ear and dripping on his shirt – such visualization! Wonderful! Nan 🙂
Great story. 🙂