She wears a hat she’s made herself. No so much a hat, more a creation of feathers, net and fluff on the side of her head, as though an exotic creature is about to take flight. Understanding her place she hangs back behind the other mourners, his white wife and his sad children. She remembers the eleven years of Tuesday afternoons when he’d whisper my bird of paradise in her ear and tuck the money under the pillow. Now, after everyone’s gone she holds the hat over the coffin in the ground, pauses, and then re-pins it to her hair.
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This is a 100-word (exactly) flash fiction story, inspired by the picture above, provided by Jean L Hayes. Click here to join in and to read other writers’ stories. It’s a long time since I’ve written a Friday Fictioneers story. I’ve missed it.
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My third novel, Bitter Orange will be published in less than two months in the UK by Penguin. You can read the first paragraph here.
My goodness, the other woman! Yet there was a selfless love for the deceased – interesting (mind you after eleven years of payment could she not have bought a hat).
Hah! I suppose she could have bought a hat!
Nice to see you back Claire, and look forward to the new novel. Lovely take, although there was money involved, it seems there was some love involved too.
Thanks! Yes, I think there was love involved, otherwise I don’t suppose she would have gone to the funeral.
Superb, Claire. I always read your story first, since I consider you to be the FF writer who sets the highest standard for economy and mood. Excellent last image.
Ahh, thank you.
Claire, terrific story particularly as I am always oddly fascinated by hard cash being involved in this way. All the more when it seems to be an equable, mutually beneficial relationship.
Thanks! Or since it’s only Tuesday afternoons that he has visited I think it might be her profession.
Of course, no doubt about that. Definitely a professional arrangement, but layered 😉
Gorgeous, Claire, This is dense (in the good sense of the word) It’s good to see you back
Thanks Neil. Dense is good! 🙂
Dear Claire,
I’m happy to see you back to fill the void left in your absence. As always, this story is beautifully written with so much story layered between the lines.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle. It’s lovely to be back, and I’ll stay as long as I can!
An exquisitely bittersweet tale, beautifully told.
I agree with the masses above, this challenge is much the poorer for your absence.
Thank you, on both counts!
I wonder what she’ll miss most, him, his words or the money. Beautifully written Claire
Click to read my FriFic tale
Yes, I wonder…
Lovely passage. I was two sentences in before i realized you were NOT describing the bird, im ashamed to say, but perhaps that was your intention. I just joined FF myself after hearing your interview on the podcast Writers on Writing. Thanks for the tip!
That’s a point. Although I often think laterally, and don’t often describe what’s in the picture, but just use it as a jumping off point. And I’m so pleased you made your way to FF after that podcast. I look forward to reading what you’ve written.
It probably had more to do with my inattention than your writing. I might have to read just a few of the submissions at a time from now on, rather than going through them all in a marathon session!
Your story is both moving and thought-provoking. You leave so much to our imagination, with just the subtlest of hints to guide us. Beautifully written.
Thank you!
I found her holding the hat over the grave rather profound, as if she was going to leave it there but then changed her mind.
Yes, that’s what I imagined her doing. I’m not sure why she put it back on – either she thinks he’s not worth losing a hat for, or she thinks he would have liked her to keep the hat.
My thought was that she kind of ”caught a glimpse of his soul” when she Held the hat over the coffin.
Excellent, layered story.
Ohh, I like that idea.
I love to read your short fiction again… so many details that matter… just as an example that his wife was white tells so much more about the narrator… also the fact that he paid her, made me really think about the relationship (or was it?)
Thanks so much Bjorn. I’m so pleased you picked up on all those little things.
Love it!
Thanks!
Oh how I’ve missed you, Claire! (And I can’t wait for book no. 3)
This story was lovely as mentioned by all and sundry. So what if he paid her weekly… at least this was an honest (and a sort of love) relationship.
Thanks, Dale. And I’ve missed all of you! Glad you liked the story.
A victory of pragmatism over sentimental gesture. Love it! Good to see you back.
Thanks Sandra!
What an interesting tale. I would love to talk to your MC to find out about her hat, why she took it off and then replaced it, and why she tolerated being a once-a-week afternoon off 🙂
I think she was paid to be once a week, and quite likely paid to be other men’s once a week as well!
The other woman. How intriguing and exotic. She sounds exquisite. I wonder if she loved him.
Hmm, I’d have to write more I think, to find out.
Sweet, sad and simply beautiful. Sank into it. Wondered about it. Loved it. Congratulations on your upcoming release!
Thanks so much Jan.
eleven years and nobody found out about the affair. they must be very discreet, indeed, or somebody just turning a blind eye.
It happens.
Nicely done. I expected the feathered hat to fly into the grave. Lovely surprise that it didn’t. Lish
Always good to surprise your readers even with little things. Thanks, Alicia!
A beautifully complex story in only 100 words, there are many layers to it. Very nice! =)
I like this a lot. His bird of paradise isn’t ‘his’ bird of paradise after all. Despite some feeling it was a business contract, not more than an adventure for him, and I think that’s what she remembers and why she keeps the bird-of-paradise-hat. Good for her. And good to see you around again.
Love the hints at their shared history – the fact you point out his wife was white and that she was his ‘bird of paradise’ suggests how far apart they were in class and culture. And I wondered at first, with his leaving the cash for her, if it wasn’t ‘Eleven years a slave’ for her. But the respect in her actions, the waving of her hat over the coffin, suggests real feeling, an ally lost, even if the relationship was unequal. Lovely writing Claire and best of luck with the new book
Delightful story Claire, as usual you’ve shown us how to do FriFic! So much back story in 100 words, and making us feel this is the prologue to something more. Interesting that so many saw their relationship as professional – that didn’t occur to me, I just saw it as a regular escape from real life for them both.
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