When dawn broke, it was with a slow lightening of the sky; there was no sun. I had crossed the river in darkness, and carried on running until my clothes dried. My father’s words echoed as I climbed:
“All you can see Peggy, is all there is. Beyond our hill is nothing – a void, an abyss – the edge of the world.”
I scrambled to the top of the ridge, my heart thumping, not just from the exertion. He had lied. I saw a valley, morning mist, another hill, and beyond that, another. What I saw was beautiful.
***
This piece of writing was for the 100 word (or so) prompt for Madison Woods’ #Fridayfictioneers. I’d be very happy to receive comments and constructive criticism. Click here to read other people’s.
Beautiful. I love the way she took a chance to see if her father was right. Now her innocence is forever gone…in a way 🙂
Thanks Carrie, glad you enjoyed it.
Very nice..Who knows maybe her father was trying to protect her from something beyond the beauty and landscape.
Mine is here
http://boomiebol.wordpress.com/2012/08/23/the-cult-friday-fictioneers-824/
I think he wanted to keep her where they were and control her. I thought yours was a great idea.
Nice feel to this one, Claire. I liked the slow lightening of the sky. Peggy’s daring. I hope she finds what she’s looking for.
here’s mine at a new address: http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2012/08/22/escape/
Thanks Rochelle. I rather think Peggy is escaping, which is a good thing.
Makes me wonder what he was trying to protect her from and whether something real or imaginary.
I’m pretty sure he just wanted to keep her where they were and not let her escape. Thanks for coming to have a read.
Good for her. Never accept the word of another when it’s so easy to see the truth for yourself. If she goes back, she probably won’t believe another word he says.
There’s no going back for Peggy… Thanks for reading
A beautiful take on the prompt. Mine is here and linked: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/08/23/fridayfictioneers-light-on-the-hill/
Thank you. I’ll come and read yours shortly.
I love that her courage was rewarded with such beauty. A lovely interpretation of the photo prompt. Very well done!
Thanks Jan.
that was enchanting, I was sad when it ended.
Aww, that’s a very nice thing to say. Maybe one day the whole novel will be finished, and you can read it all!
i would enjoy it.
This is such a good concept, and such a terrible lie to feed to a young person. There’s so much lurking behind that simple action. Beautifully done.
Thanks for your comments Sandra
I hope someday she decides to go beyond the ridge also.. 🙂
That is definitely where she’s going next… Thanks for reading
“What she saw was beautiful.” As was this story. A mirror of life, father to daughter, daughter to the unknown. I really enjoyed this. Thanks for writing it.
Aloha,
Doug
That’s very nice of you Doug – and thanks for following my blog.
Very nicely done. I kept thinking this father also thought the world to be flat.
Ah, that’s exactly the idea I was thinking as I wrote it, although the father does know that the world exists beyond the hill. Thanks for visiting
Great story! I’m wondering if the father is lying to protect her or to trap her, and what else she will find in the big wide world. I definitely think you could carry this on into a longer piece.
I’m over here; http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/08/24/friday-fictioneers-far-afield/
Yesterday I officially reached 40,000 words – half way through the longer piece! Thanks for reading and commenting. I loved yours.
The repercussions of this lie may well be huge. You can’t hide your children from experiencing the vastness of it all, regardless of whether the intentions are good or not.
This was a lovely read, Clairful. The whole world is out there.
http://mysocalleddutchlife.wordpress.com/2012/08/24/the-haar-ff-240812/
You’re absolutely right. There are always consequences to lies, especially those told to children.
I immediately saw the father as selfish and controlling .. in fear of losing her. Ha..guess what? She took a risk and he’s lost her forever. She’s leaving to follow whatever her dream is… to find beauty, trust, gentleness, love and happiness. ByeBye daddy. I’m here: http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com
He is controlling and fearful of losing her, but misguided rather than selfish. Thanks for commenting.
We fathers are like that, pretending to always know what’s best for our children. Trying to protect, even with lies, if need be! Love your very realistic telling. Love the girl’s ‘spunk’. Not too crazy about the dad!
I’m very pleased that those were the feelings you got from the piece – exactly what I was aiming for.